A common scene in my life. (Except with way fatter chicks)
Have you ever been blocked by someone on Facebook or Twitter?
That was rhetorical, dopey.
You’ve been blocked.
There’s been a point in time where someone evaluated your contribution to their world and said:
It seems like everyone follows the exact same celebrities on Twitter.
Ashton Kutcher, Tom Hanks, Alyssa Milano, Bronson Pinchot from TV’s Perfect Strangers.
OK, not Bronson Pinchot.
We live in an unjust world.
But today, I’ll introduce you to a few people who are celebrities in their own...
Dear Celebrity on Twitter,
If you’re reading this letter, it’s because someone tweeted it to you.
They probably added ‘LOLZ’ or a horrible smiley face and made a comment like just givin’ it a shot. Who knows!, then acted like they didn’t care if you read this.
For more pointless flow charts, follow me on Twitter here. Although, I won’t lie. I’ll try to send you a twitpic of my package.
Email me here: firstname.lastname@example.org
SuperDouche is back! This time, he’s educating a young celebrity on how to be less annoying on Twitter. This video has horrible language and bad computer voices.
You were expecting Spielberg?
You can follow me on Twitter. here.
Some of you joined Twitter for one reason.
You need access to their minds. Their non-refundable nuggets of wisdom.
You’ve joined Twitter for this:
The biggest thrill is when a celebrity follows you. You’ve been chosen.
And you can totally throw it in the faces of others.
Follow me here for more horrible shit like this.
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It’s easy to be an egotistical maniac in social media.
Within this safe cocoon, you’re liked. Appreciated. Respected.
Outside it, you’re an alarming shithead.
I, on the other hand, have found away to be the latter in both.
You had to look up what “latter” meant, didn’t...
1. You tell your friends you’re going to be an Internet Celebrity.
2. You start a blog, and in the About Me section, you use a picture of yourself in front of a mirror where you can still see the camera.
3. You start a twitter account, and for the profile picture, you use a picture of yourself...
There’s a pain you feel when someone unfollows you on Twitter.
Like a breaking up pain.
A quiet dumping.
We all feel it. It’s like that song Everybody Hurts by REM.
Play that in your mind while you read this.
If you’ve just been unfollowed by someone and you’re...