I'm friending this woman later.
Being on Facebook means sharing, caring, being friends.
Sorry, I was watching Treehouse TV and that was one of their things.
Don’t ask why a 32 year old man’s watching Treehouse alone on a weekday. The answer’s cold and painful.
I like how they...
The world of Facebook is divided in ten.
Ten types of personalities. Ten distinct characters.
And guess what?
You’re one of them.
Or maybe not. I can’t do every type. That would take hours to write and you’ll zone out into a coma mid-way and go who’s this fat blogger...
This is actually how creepy you are.
Right now, you probably think you’re normal.
I know you. Beneath your cheery smile is dark nerdy evil. And your satanic lord is Facebook. Once you log on, you can’t resist yourself. You stalk people.
A common scene in my life. (Except with way fatter chicks)
Have you ever been blocked by someone on Facebook or Twitter?
That was rhetorical, dopey.
You’ve been blocked.
There’s been a point in time where someone evaluated your contribution to their world and said:
People can’t believe Facebook would compromise their privacy.
I’m so pissed at Facebook! They don’t respect my privacy.
BTW here’s a picture of my bum you guys!
And there’s the rub. People are mad Facebook isn’t protecting themselves against themselves.
Jilted by a lover? Hate someone’s ugly face?
Here are eleven ways you can become their worst Facebook nightmare.
1. Add All Of Their Asian Friends.
Everyone hates the guy who adds everyone else’s friends. But don’t be conventional.
When they see that all of your mutual...
This is pre-Farmville request.
The biggest buzzkill in the world is when your parents join Facebook.
I’m lucky. My mom’s not computer savvy. She thinks e-mail forwards are actually written by the person who sends the forward.
Did you see Aunty Maya wrote 150 jokes about blondes? I didn’t...
It’s easy to be an egotistical maniac in social media.
Within this safe cocoon, you’re liked. Appreciated. Respected.
Outside it, you’re an alarming shithead.
I, on the other hand, have found away to be the latter in both.
You had to look up what “latter” meant, didn’t...
1. Leave A Passive-Aggressive Comment On Her Relationship Status When She Announces She’s Single.
Finally! After years of dating a guy you know you’re better than, she’s broken it off.
Now it’s time to strike.
DON’T: Tell her you totally want to do her and you’ve...