5 Secrets To Writing Explosive Headlines (The Experts Won’t Tell You)

5 Secrets To Writing Explosive Headlines (The Experts Won’t Tell You)
Who reads the newspaper like this? Who? If you’re a regular reader of my writing, you know a deep, dark secret. I’m all fluff. There’s no substance here. You come to this site to escape the horrible minutiae of your daily life. You’re a cook from Utah who just wants to make it...

5 Things We Can Learn From Tiger’s Possible Divorce.

5 Things We Can Learn From Tiger’s Possible Divorce.
Reports today indicate Elin Norde.. Nordege.. Nordegr.. Reports today indicate Elin is going to file for divorce. This is good news.   I feel for Elin. She’s a super hot chick.  Super hot.  If she ever let me date her, I’d never cheat on her. I’ve been single for so long, I’d...

The 10 Most Annoying Facebook Applications.

The 10 Most Annoying Facebook Applications.
There are several things that annoy everyone.  Clowns, mimes, protruding nostril hair, and those people that open a door for you but you’re still too far away, so you have to speed up to get there, and then when you do they expect you to thank them. Way to be helpful. However, allow me to introduce...

5 Things That Immediately Turn Off Women.

5 Things That Immediately Turn Off Women.
Sometimes I feel like I’m not an expert on a subject. When I talk about Twitter, Facebook, even life. Now re-read the title of this post. Yes. I got this shit. I’ve been turning off women since the Reagan Administration.  And I was just a startlingly obese boy back then. My first crush...

My Big Fat Greek Interview With Nia Vardalos.

My Big Fat Greek Interview With Nia Vardalos.
Nia Vardalos with John Stamos who poses absolutely no threat to me. What does he have that I don't have? Besides looks, success, and not-moobs. Let’s pilot back to a time when there wasn’t a Tremendous News. News just wasn’t tremendous. I was sitting on the ugly orange couch in...

The Remastered Avatars Of TwitJesus: @Jack, @Biz, and @Ev

The Remastered Avatars Of TwitJesus: @Jack, @Biz, and @Ev
If you're reading this and you're one of these people, I'm sorry in advance. We all know TwitJesus. The creators of our nerdy Twitter universe. Jack, Biz, Ev. Or as I like to call them, Bevackiz. Since I’m hilariously unemployed and have a lot of time on my hands, I took their avatars...

The 7 Reasons Why You Retweet.

The 7 Reasons Why You Retweet.
God help us all. In the devastatingly nerdy world of Twitter, retweets matter. You can parade around town with your top hat and cane and pretend they don’t. It’s about connections, Tremendous News. About happiness. For pete’s sake!  I’m just sorta kinda seeing where Twitter...

5 Ways To Return Anything To Any Store.

5 Ways To Return Anything To Any Store.
So what if she has nothing to do with the article. Stop raining on my super-hot parade. This weekend, a friend of mine told me a harrowing story. It was about her, some chick-clothes, and this store, Lulemom. Luleman? Something with a lemon. She went there to return merchandise that fell apart in the...

5 Reasons We Love To Hate Spambots.

5 Reasons We Love To Hate Spambots.
We will defeat your super-hotness and offers for affordable teeth whitening. Dear e77s8ggm, I hope this letter finds you well. Well, I’m pretty sure you’re well because in your profile picture, you’re half-naked, and I can almost see your entire area. No lie? Pretty hot. But I can’t...

5 Ways Twitter Lists Can Defeat Douchebags.

5 Ways Twitter Lists Can Defeat Douchebags.
No iPhone app can make him less off putting. As you read this, the world of Twitter trembles. People unsure of the future.  People wondering what to do. All because TwitJesus gave us lists. It nearly sent me into cardiac arrest. I know. How alarmingly nerdy! Lists are a way to organize people on Twitter....

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