They don't have blackberries.
The world is divided in two.
People who are normal, and people who have Blackberries.
I own one. So let this article sing as an anthem of self hate.
Hey, that wasn’t a half-bad line. Usually I have like three “boobs” in the first two sentences.
I'm friending this woman later.
Being on Facebook means sharing, caring, being friends.
Sorry, I was watching Treehouse TV and that was one of their things.
Don’t ask why a 32 year old man’s watching Treehouse alone on a weekday. The answer’s cold and painful.
I like how they...
1. Free Willy
2. Home Alone
3. Saving Private Ryan
5. Dumb and Dumber
6. The Sixth Sense
7. The Lion King
8. Back To The Future
9. Lord Of The Rings
Follow me on twitter here.
The world of Facebook is divided in ten.
Ten types of personalities. Ten distinct characters.
And guess what?
You’re one of them.
Or maybe not. I can’t do every type. That would take hours to write and you’ll zone out into a coma mid-way and go who’s this fat blogger...
A common scene in my life. (Except with way fatter chicks)
Have you ever been blocked by someone on Facebook or Twitter?
That was rhetorical, dopey.
You’ve been blocked.
There’s been a point in time where someone evaluated your contribution to their world and said:
The Vuvuzela controversy is heating up. Those really really loud horns you hear every time you turn on the World Cup?
Who invented those?
Who saw a need.
Anyway, they’re here. And debate is ramping up on whether they’ll be banned. I decided to re-create the entire debate using kittens....
The creator of this show, Romantically Challenged, had enough time to answer my offensive questions.
I had a rare chance to talk to Ricky Blitt, the former exec producer and writer of Family Guy, as well as creator of Romantically Challenged. Obviously, I screwed it up. Here’s the full text...
I ripped this image from the lamest Facebook Profile picture on Earth.
I asked my tiny friends on Facebook what the worst thing to say on a date was.
They had a few ideas from experience.
Unfortunately, I recalled using some of them on my dates.
Which is why I don’t date now.
Let’s get started.
This is pre-Farmville request.
The biggest buzzkill in the world is when your parents join Facebook.
I’m lucky. My mom’s not computer savvy. She thinks e-mail forwards are actually written by the person who sends the forward.
Did you see Aunty Maya wrote 150 jokes about blondes? I didn’t...