They don't have blackberries. The world is divided in two. People who are normal, and people who have Blackberries. I own one.  So let this article sing as an anthem of self hate. Hey, that wasn’t a half-bad line.  Usually I have like three “boobs” in the first two sentences. Ha! Three...

I'm friending this woman later. Being on Facebook means sharing, caring, being friends. Sorry, I was watching Treehouse TV and that was one of their things. Don’t ask why a 32 year old man’s watching Treehouse alone on a weekday.  The answer’s cold and painful. I like how they...

The world of Facebook is divided in ten. Ten types of personalities.  Ten distinct characters. And  guess what? You’re one of them. Or maybe not.  I can’t do every type.  That would take hours to write and you’ll zone out into a coma mid-way and go who’s this fat blogger...

I'm betting she says 'epic' Ever since English was invented, there’s been a swath of phrases that annoy everyone. Like that? Swath? I read books now. I asked my tiny friends on Facebook for suggestions on some of their most hated phrases.  They gave me well over 70. I’m going...

This is actually how creepy you are. Right now, you probably think you’re normal. Nice. Decent. Human. Ha! Hilarious. I know you.  Beneath your cheery smile is dark nerdy evil.  And your satanic lord is Facebook.  Once you log on, you can’t resist yourself.  You stalk people. Possibly...

A common scene in my life. (Except with way fatter chicks) Have you ever been blocked by someone on Facebook or Twitter? Don’t answer. That was rhetorical, dopey. You’ve been blocked. There’s been a point in time where someone evaluated your contribution to their world and said: Pass. Then...

There’s a small group of words in the English language that everyone dislikes.  If the English language were a party, these words would be the guys with fake tans and Affliction t-shirts. Listening to techno. Beating up fat guys with bladder problems. Shit. I’ve made it personal. Let’s...

It seems like everyone follows the exact same celebrities on Twitter. Ashton Kutcher, Tom Hanks, Alyssa Milano, Bronson Pinchot from TV’s Perfect Strangers. OK, not Bronson Pinchot. We live in an unjust world. But today, I’ll introduce you to a few people who are celebrities in their own...

If you’re not following the World Cup, you’ve missed the hilarious drama and in-fighting of Team France. They were eliminated after they suspended players, had a strike, and well, acted like babies. Don’t worry.  I re-created the entire debacle for you. Enjoy. Babies donated by ShutterStock. dee@tremendousnews.com //...

If you didn’t watch BP CEO Tony Hayward’s testimony, I’ve summarized it in five pictures. All pictures from AP. I’m too poor to fly to Washington and take them myself. Also too poor to own a camera. A lot of poorness going on. See what I deal with, lads! PAPER SIGNS. Paper...