The 7 Ways To Get More Followers Nobody Will Ever Tell You.

The 7 Ways To Get More Followers Nobody Will Ever Tell You.
"It's Saturday night! Who wants to play our Mashable drinking game!?" I’ve always wanted to write a douchey article teaching people how to get more Twitter followers. The only problem was, I had none. But now that I have a few, I can drive my doucheyness right up your grill. In...

5 Reasons Why Conan Should Be Happy About All Of This.

5 Reasons Why Conan Should Be Happy About All Of This.
Don't worry buddy. I get fired all the time! I’ve read the People Of Earth letter. I’ve surveyed the damage. I’ve monitored Conan’s progress on the Tonight Show.  Watched Leno at 10pm.  DVR Letterman. I’m as close to a late-night expert as you’ll ever meet. Which,...

5 Ways To Improve Your Life (Even If You’re Lazy)

5 Ways To Improve Your Life (Even If You’re Lazy)
New Year's Eve 2010 in my parents' basement. I know. Typical. I’ve come to the sobering realization that I may have a few issues. It hit me on New Year’s Eve.  I was singing “If I Needed Someone” on Beatles Rock Band in my peejay pants with the racing stripe.  I rest the microphone...

5 Terms In English Slang Everyone Should Know.

5 Terms In English Slang Everyone Should Know.
Of all the fallen empires, I like England the most. Athens, Rome?  Kind of hot. Mongolia? Please. It’s England.  I holidayed there a few years ago.  Alone, of course. I wandered the streets of London, from pub to pub.  Eating jacket potatoes and taking in the culture. Trying to totally do...

Why I Should Never Judge A Kids Contest.

Why I Should Never Judge A Kids Contest.
In my head, this is what the teachers at the school looked like. Recently, I judged a speech arts competition for fourth and fifth graders. This is the most I’ve done in seventeen months.  Judge a contest. Ladies?  That’s called being driven. A dozen tiny contestants took the stage to...

5 Things We Can Learn From Tiger’s Possible Divorce.

5 Things We Can Learn From Tiger’s Possible Divorce.
Reports today indicate Elin Norde.. Nordege.. Nordegr.. Reports today indicate Elin is going to file for divorce. This is good news.   I feel for Elin. She’s a super hot chick.  Super hot.  If she ever let me date her, I’d never cheat on her. I’ve been single for so long, I’d...

The 10 People You Meet While Traveling.

The 10 People You Meet While Traveling.
Oh OK. Because that shit never happens. I’m traveling.  And I’ve already learned a valuable lesson. Traveling sucks ass. After traveling a lot in my former “employed” life, I’ll share with you a few people everyone meets while traveling. 1. The Guy With The Disgusting Socks. It’s...

My Big Fat Greek Interview With Nia Vardalos.

My Big Fat Greek Interview With Nia Vardalos.
Nia Vardalos with John Stamos who poses absolutely no threat to me. What does he have that I don't have? Besides looks, success, and not-moobs. Let’s pilot back to a time when there wasn’t a Tremendous News. News just wasn’t tremendous. I was sitting on the ugly orange couch in...

How A Football Player Used Twitter To Make Me Like Him.

How A Football Player Used Twitter To Make Me Like Him.
I’ll admit it. I’ve been known to be wrong once or twice. Thought Michael Vick was a dog person and Kanye West would be gracious. Know David Letterman? Seemed asexual to me. Fine. So I’m not that bright. But when it comes to football players, I find most of them annoying..  They’re...

3 Major Letterman Gaffes This Year: Which Was The Most Embarrassing?

3 Major Letterman Gaffes This Year: Which Was The Most Embarrassing?
Earlier today, David Letterman admitted that he was the victim of an alleged extortion plot.  Someone was trying to get $2M from Letterman to stay quiet about him having sex with female members of his staff. So basically, he admitted to totally doing members of his staff. Holy poopy-pants! You sit...

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