How 2 Murdered Little People Affect Your Lives Personally.

How 2 Murdered Little People Affect Your Lives Personally.
  Goodbye, tiny heroes. You’re here and you’re already offended. How dare you exploit little people, Tremendous News.  How dare you.  I have higher expectations for you. Really?  Because you should lower them. Lower them until they’re barely expectations. Even then, I’ll disappoint...

6 Tips on How To Sell Out As A Blogger.

6 Tips on How To Sell Out As A Blogger.
Despite having little to no relevance to the content of this article, this image is completely necessary. When I invented Tremendous News, I envisioned a place on the web all to my own. A magical place where tiny leprechauns would frolic and dance with magicians and mimes. A forum where I could spew...

An Open Letter To Those Who Insult Michael Jackson

An Open Letter To Those Who Insult Michael Jackson
Hi. You’ve been sent here in one of two ways. One. You read the headline and said to yourself: yeah dumb people who insult Michael Jackson! Shame on you for being such dolts. He was a magnana…he was a mangninama…he was that word that sounds cool and means he’s awesome. Two....

While Perez Hilton Tweeted For Help, These 4 People Called 911.

While Perez Hilton Tweeted For Help, These 4 People Called 911.
I wanted to violate this image using photoshop, but your imagination is much more lethal. If you want to nosedive into a sea of stupidity, just tweet for help after being assaulted. Perez Hilton? Swimming in stupid. He was allegedly punched in the head-hole by another irrelevant dude during an altercation...

The 5 Situations Where Guys Are Allowed To Cry.

The 5 Situations Where Guys Are Allowed To Cry.
Its always gotta be about you, doesnt it? Way to ruin a perfectly good evening. Ass. The world has become metrosexual. Guys are exalted for being sensitive.  For being empathetic.  For showing emoticons. Whatever. As many of you know, I’m a man’s man.  I wrestle elk in my boxer-briefs...

The Most Important Tip For A Canadian Living In The U.S.

The Most Important Tip For A Canadian Living In The U.S.
I’ve lived in both Canada and the US. In Canada, whole milk is called homo milk. I swear.  Fact. Canadians call it Homo Milk. In America, whole milk is called whole milk. Picture me now walking into a Target store in Mountain View, California. Asking the male associate if they had homo milk. Homo. Milk. There’s...

The Twitter Avatar Roast: 10 Types of Profile Images.

The Twitter Avatar Roast: 10 Types of Profile Images.
If I had the time, I'd try to digest what profound statement Tila Tequila is making through her profile image. But the Golden Girls are on. You figure it out. On Twitter, you define yourself by what you tweet. Be honest with yourself.  You haven’t tweeted anything useful since September...

The 10 Commandments of Facebook.

The 10 Commandments of Facebook.
1. If I am a creator of an Event I will not send you seventeen thousand fucking emails. Confession: I’m not even coming to your event. I clicked “Maybe” just because I didn’t want to send your Declined list to over 100. I’m a nice guy that way. But then you send me a hundred emails about...

Analyzing Brooke Hogan’s Twitter.

Analyzing Brooke Hogan’s Twitter.
Each one of your tweets is like your quiet unrefundable gift to the world. I remember eleventh grade English. My teacher, Mr. Miller, asked the class to critically analyze a Shakespeare piece in one page. When I received my graded page, it said “SEE ME AFTER CLASS”. Tremendous. So I saw...

5 Reasons To Not Follow Me On Twitter.

5 Reasons To Not Follow Me On Twitter.
This young lady is using the Twitter application on her telephonic device to unfollow me. Immediately after, she will LOLZ herself. Immediately after that, I will unravel emotionally. I won’t zone you out into a coma with why you should follow me on Twitter. Instead, I’ll tell you why...

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