Ass-Backward Comet Has Nerds Captivated.

Ass-Backward Comet Has Nerds Captivated.
Comet Lulin, which is probably the most horrible name for a comet in the history of comet names, is as close to the Earth as it’ll ever get.  You know what? Lulin?  Really?  Who would name it that?  I need to know. The green ball of gas is visible to astronomy nerds all week.  It’s...

The Hilarious Death of Print Media.

The Hilarious Death of Print Media.
They have to refinance the letter-signs. In May, theyll be done paying for the vowels. The slow decline in newspaper and magazine readership has been depicted as a sad death march, a solemn change, an erosion of societal values.  We’re too lazy to read the newspaper. Nobody wants to hold and...

Bernie Thinks Recession to Last Until 2010.

Bernie Thinks Recession to Last Until 2010.
Do you know? Because really? I have no idea. Ben Bernanke, Federal Reserve Chairman, just mentioned that the “severe” recession will probably last until 2010.  Fears that banks have to be nationalized are scaring the shit out of everyone.  Bernie sounds like he nearly put himself into...

Tiny Taro To Meet Obama Today.

Tiny Taro To Meet Obama Today.
Who gets to go to McDonalds if they dont devalue the yen? Can you guess? Ill give you a hint. It rhymes with Maro Yaso. Tiny Taro Aso, our favorite little leader, makes his big trip to the United States today for private meetings with President Obama.  Some things they’ll discuss: US-Japanese...

Dubai Soon To Be A Ghost Town.

Dubai, the once darling city of the Middle East, has taken quite an ass-kicking lately.  New York Times reports that Dubai has just secured $10 billion in aid from its neighbor, Abu Dhabi.  Real estate prices have dropped more than 50 %.  Many foreign workers, who make up over 90% of Dubai’s...

Michigan Drops Russell Due To Anti-Union Concern.

Michigan Drops Russell Due To Anti-Union Concern.
Who would ever buy this? Who. I need to know. The University of Michigan joined other universities who have dropped Russell Athletics, an apparel company that made t-shirts and other clothing for Michigan under license.  Michigan is alarmed by the fact that Russell had just shut down a unionized factory...

Home Depot Posts Major Loss.

Home Depot Posts Major Loss.
Yeah maybe try working harder. This economy has beat down some big companies.  You’d think that if you’re going to delay buying a home, you might fix up the roof, re-do the floors, maybe get a new deck instead? Apparently, no.  There’ll be none of that. Home Depot announced Tuesday...

Scamford’s Brochures Painted A Rosy Picture, Reality Much Darker.

Scamford’s Brochures Painted A Rosy Picture, Reality Much Darker.
If you wanted to invest with Scamford, it appears he would send you a colorful brochure featuring private jets, huge skyscrapers, powerful boardrooms in Zurich.  And if you wanted to invest over $5M, he’d fly you into Antigua and wine and dine you until he got your money. And then? Then you see...

Scamford Founded!

Scamford Founded!
Billionaire and accused con artist R. Allen Stanford was located minutes ago in Virginia.  He has been accused of over $8B in fraud for allegedly scamming people by selling them certificates of deposits with infactual rates of return. Financial nerds will know exactly what this means, but for the rest...

Hippy Outrage Over Tar Sands.

Hippy Outrage Over Tar Sands.
In advance of today’s much anticipated meeting between President Barack Obama and Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper, protests have ignited over the hotly debated Alberta Tar Sands. Because really? What do hippies have to do on a Thursday besides parading around, being all outraged? In this...

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