So what if she has nothing to do with the article. Stop raining on my super-hot parade. This weekend, a friend of mine told me a harrowing story. It was about her, some chick-clothes, and this store, Lulemom. Luleman? Something with a lemon. She went there to return merchandise that fell apart in the...

If you logged into Facebook recently, you’d notice you have a box called “Suggestions” on the right-hand side. It’s where coolness goes to die. Inside this box, Facebook “suggests” that you do certain things. Like add someone nobody wants to add. Write on the wall...

Douchebags have arrived to twitter in droves. In herds. In whatever word means ‘large quantities’. Douchebags have arrived to twitter in KFC Family Meal-sizes. OK.  That’s just what I’m eating right now. But they’re here. And recently I have discovered that they are charging people to learn...

The 8th secret is to use a picture of a chick in a belly-shirt even if she has little to nothing to do with your content. Inventing a blog is tough work. You have to sit there, be creative, be interesting, be anecdotical. Is that a word? Anecdotical? It looks weird and my Wordpress editor is underlining...

See? It happens both ways! But really: call a cab, lady. Have you ever been on a bus? It's a convoy of mental patients. Oh dear God. You’re already mad. I can feel it deep down inside my super-fat body. In this post you’re going to read my defense of a man who bailed on his own wedding...

When this kid is old enough to type, he'll call me a doofus. There is nothing more sobering than stating an opinion and having anonymous Internet people shatter you emotionally. Well. Maybe sobriety. But I haven’t tried that in years. This article is not just for blogging, but I’ll use...

Even though the post below trashes Twitter fads, I'm totally fine with this. The Twitter bandwagon is a raging, unforgiving beast. It’s a bully, really. If you’re on Twitter, you understand.  When a lot of people start doing something, you feel like you have to do the same thing or be...

This article is only for women. Don’t worry guys. I totally got this. Women, hi. I interact with many of you on a daily basis.  One of you is my mother.  Several of you I’ve had friendships with.  Hundreds of you have rejected my creepy advances. I guess you can call me a lady’s...

  My girlfriend kind of looks like this girl, but hotter. And angrier. Especially when I call her 'my girlfriend' This weekend, I was talking to my girlfriend about how Facebook isn’t fun anymore.   Wait. Let’s reset. Honesty now. This weekend, I was talking to a girl I call my...

If you looked at this image and focused on the 3 and a 1/2 inch disks, you’re a complete nerd. Don’t worry. I did too. The news is changing. The way we receive it. Digest it. Process it. All different. A massive army of Internet nerds have demanded that the news be delivered to...