Tremendous News began from a series of Facebook notes that injected commentary into newspaper articles that were so boring many readers went comatose while reading them. Several vigilant readers asked for a blog to be created that would allow them to read the news without having to smell the damp papery smell of a newspaper.
Is ‘papery’ a word? Let’s investigate.
Apparently, no. Which gives me an opportunity to inform you that this website will be flawed with grammatical and spelling errors time and time again. It’s also prudent to recognize that it will be ripe with infactualities that you may think is poor news reporting but I think is artistic and creative commentary. Remember, this website is strictly opinion only. It should not be used to win arguments or research school projects. Actually, if you’re using this website as research for a school project, you’re probably going to fail anyway. So feel free. And after you drop out of school and need a job, give me a shout.
The site was supposed to be created a long time ago, but I just kind of got lazy. If you’re reading this and notice this website hasn’t been updated in many months, well, I just kind of got lazy. If you’re reading this and it’s 2014 and they’re using this website as a historical example of how ’shitty blogs were’ back in 2009, then, well, I just kind of got lazy.
If you’d like to write for this blog, please send me a profanity-laced email and I’ll consider it. You won’t actually get paid, and I’ll be verbally abusive. At times, I’ll send you random electronic mailings about things I think you should know about. Like why Burma is now called Myanmar. Why? I don’t get it. Burma was so much easier to say and spell. Plus, we could call them Burmese people. Now we have to figure out what to call them. Myanmartians? Mayanmarnians? Sounds dumb to me. If you don’t instantly know answers to these questions and more, I’ll be outraged. But other than that?
Best job ever.
Have fun with the blog. Feel free to pepper the comment section with diabolical rants that have little to no relevance to the blog posts. If you hate this blog, please let me know. It’ll crush me emotionally, but at the same time, I think I’m kind of addicted to that type of sick, twisted pain. Weird huh? However, if you actually like the blog, please don’t let me know. I’d rather live in the shadows of failure.
Lastly, if you enjoy Twitter, you won’t after you add us. First, we’ll blow up your Twitter picture and evaluate you as a person entirely on your profile image. Then we’ll probably get drunk and send you horrible messages. Finally, we’ll ignore any communication to us until you feel so emotionally fragile you’ll never try again. Months later, we’ll throw you a single message. It’ll be a riddle. If you solve it, we will shower you with praise. If you don’t, you will be our latest disappointment.