5 Signs You’re About To Be Blocked.

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A common scene in my life. (Except with way fatter chicks)

Have you ever been blocked by someone on Facebook or Twitter?

Don’t answer.

That was rhetorical, dopey.

You’ve been blocked.

There’s been a point in time where someone evaluated your contribution to their world and said:

Pass.

Then they ensured they would never ever see you again by removing you completely from their lives.

Hilarious.

Here’s five signs you’re about to be blocked.

1. Someone Asks You “How Do You Find The Time To Update So Much”?

This is a key phrase.

How do you find the time.

It means people are getting tired of your constant Facebook posts about your ass itching.  Or your tweets about your pee hurting.  Or your FourSquare check-in to an STD clinic.

Those together?

Probably bad.

2. You’ve Been Put On Limited Profile On Facebook.

The first step to Facebook blocking is the limited profile.

You always got to see hot pictures of her in super tiny bikinis and then one day, boom.

She likes True Blood.

That’s all her profile says.

I know.

What are we supposed to do with that?

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No way, you like VAMPIRES? You're so complex and layered.

3.  People Who RTed You Blindly Don’t Anymore.

You know those people who RT any random shit you say?

I like cheese.

Boom.

RTed by 4 people.

People all over Twitter now know some fat hairy blogger likes cheese.

If they stop RTing that I like cheese or my cheese-related activities, it means other people are really getting sick of me.

These people are my nerdy barometer.

I don’t know what a barometer is.

I just heard someone use that once.

4. You Find Yourself Trying Harder To Please People.

People on Twitter and Facebook try their hardest to prove that they’re intelligent, smart and charming.

That sounds exhausting.

I, on the other hand, have proven I’m an incredible shithead.

It can only go up from here.

Actually, it’s gone down, but whatever.

If you’re sitting there overthinking, over-tweeting, over-poking, you’ve lost it.

It’s like that dude who tries really hard to win a chick over and then realizes she doesn’t return his feelings via court restraining order.

Thanks Sarah from Queens.

Because that was what I needed.

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This is Sarah from Queens, or as I like to whisper on the phone while breathing heavily, "my spirit bride"

5. When You Realize Someone Has Unfollowed Or De-friended You, You Try To Contact Them To Find Out Why.

There is nothing more painful than watching someone find out why they’ve been left.

It’s a key sign that you’ll be left again.

Hey Mike!  How are you bud?  lol  Just noticed you deleted me on Facebook and unfollowed me on Twitter!  lol!  Wondering if I did anything wrong?!  lmao.

Those creepy lols just make things worse.

There you have it.  If you’ve identified with these signs, you’re probably blocked by hundreds of people right now.

Don’t worry.

It’s better than a restraining order.

Orders.

(Plural)

Follow me and then immediately block me on Twitter here.

Images donated by shutterstock.

dee@tremendousnews.com


  • Sari Plante

    Then they ensured they would never ever see you again by removing you completely from their lives.

    http://www.thevancouverrealest...

  • Then they ensured they would never ever see you again by removing you completely from their lives.

  • There’s been a point in time where someone evaluated your contribution to their world and said:

  • There you have it.  If you’ve identified with these signs, you’re probably blocked by hundreds of people right now.
     

  • Then they ensured they would never ever see you again by removing you completely from their lives.

  • There’s been a point in time where someone evaluated your contribution to their world and said:
     

  • There’s been a point in time where someone evaluated your contribution to their world and said:
     

  • People on Twitter and Facebook try their hardest to prove that they’re intelligent, smart and charming.
     

  • There’s been a point in time where someone evaluated your contribution to their world and said:

  • Tiffany Stevens

       I never block people who post too much, because
    I’m not on Facebook or Twitter enough to notice them. I normally just notice
    the people who don’t make any sense. Like those people that make really generic
    threats at some unidentified person (“I can’t deal with people anymore! If
    you’re going to act like this, at least say it to my FACE, but don’t think we
    can be friends anymore!”). Or like the people who post really vague cryptic
    messages on websites like Craigslist (like in this column: http://www.constructionlitmag.....
    Those are the only kinds of posts I really end up wanting to block someone for.
    Their vagueness frustrates me.

  • Hmm that's very interessting but actually i have a hard time understanding it...  wonder what others have to say..

  • I love it. I can feel the lesson of true experience shining through your words. I hope that this was an isolated experience and that you never experience it again.

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  • Nice pic

  • I am an avid fan of Facebook but I am not really that hooked on this social media network. I admit that I am always  tempted to open Facebook at home while I do work. However, had to block its IP so I will be able to work properly and be more productive. :D

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  • 24hoursplumber

    Automatically blocked recruited & droped like a bomb on the enemy they ought to ship them to that countrty they hate & drop em off block ed from USA

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  • Wait a sec....I can't see your profile anymore! What does it mean? LOL. Did i piss you off? LMFAO

  • allubarbosa

    I can not contact the people I Unfollow ... but only because I deliberately hit each function and service to me alert to the fact that it happened. Otherwise, I occupy. Fill.

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  • Mantohave

    True. Real, too. Good advice here. Or, when you simply don't see the person anymore, or realize that after a while. Take my advice.....don't ask why !

  • chirstian

    please do more good article.it’s so cool .i like it very much

  • POFgirl

    I deleted about 400 friends off facebook...

  • Aarti Sethi

    I think I'm going to RT this. I like saying RT, because that's how white people say my name.

    Am I allowed to say white people?

  • Number 5 lol!

  • hackmanj

    Hilarious, I love it.

  • mikelking

    A particularly enjoyable read. Appreciate your taking the time to share these insights with all of us!

    Cheers,
    Mikel King

  • Tom

    Shemales automatically blocked recruited and droped like a bomb on the enemy we should ship them to that countrty we hate and drop em off block ed from USA

  • Lightningcactus

    its all about the followers baby follow me i will follow back

  • I don't contact people who unfollow me... but only because I've deliberately disabled every feature and service that could possibly alert me to the fact that it's happened. Otherwise, I'd obsess. OBSESS. (Which is what inspired this cartoon.)

  • Tim Wood

    'Twas ever thus!!!

  • hahahaha - i'm an incredible shithead too! this is why i love you so very much.

  • liztroup

    aha! Im the blocker!

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