The World Cup Explained To Americans In 7 Pictures.

1. Call The Sport ‘Football’.  For Once, Just Try Pleasing The World.


(Even though we both know football is played on Sundays.)

2. When Players Celebrate, There’s A Lot Of Affection.  A LOT Of Affection.


If you score, you might actually score.

3. The Chicks Are Incredibly Hot


For the record, I've never seen this at a Jays-Orioles game.

4. People Are Pissed Off About A Horn


Start conversation with "how about that vuvuzela?" Boom. 20 minute conversation. Or if you want to mess with people, ask them if they've seen "2 Girls 1 Vuvuzela".

5. A Red Card Means Bad Shit Just Happened.


If you want to fit in, refer to this individual as the 'spawn of Satan'. And then remark, "look at his bitch-tits"

6. There’s No Scoring To Interrupt You While You Admire The Beauty Of The Game.


Even though this game ended in a goalless tie, there were exciting chances and someone in the stands was lit on fire.

7. There Are NO Fans Like These.


Think Yankee fans are hardcore? If this guy's team doesn't win, he'll cut you.

That’s really all you need to know.

I put the Vuvuzela horn on Twitter, you can follow it here.

To watch my ‘Kittens Solve The Vuvuzela Controversy in 1 Minute’, click here.

My twitter, here.

Images donated by Shutterstock.

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  • Call it whatever you want... It's still boring! :)

  • What? no, there's only one kind of football, and it involves tight pants and touchdowns.

    Good thing i can't get shanked via internet.

  • Ebenites

    its called 'fútbol'!!!!!! (pronounced football for you americans)

  • ashley

    i was surprised when a friend from the states said soccer is not that popular there.
    i was like "O____O what are you talking about? the whole world is in euphoria!"

  • why thank you
    this soccer stuff was too confusing.. wait i mean "football"...

  • ultimate!!

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