10 Ways Parents Can Humiliate Their Kids On Facebook.

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This is pre-Farmville request.

The biggest buzzkill in the world is when your parents join Facebook.

I’m lucky.  My mom’s not computer savvy.  She thinks e-mail forwards are actually written by the person who sends the forward.

Did you see Aunty Maya wrote 150 jokes about blondes?  I didn’t know she’s so funny!

And she nearly fainted when a Nigerian banker sent her an inheritance.

Also?  She sometimes loses the cursor.

She can’t find it.  I tell her to wiggle the mouse but she just stares at the screen.  Then she gets bored and watches Family Feud.

I’m not worried about her joining Facebook.

But if you’re a parent and want to screw with your kids, here are ten ways to do it.

1.  Join Horrible, Horrible Fan Pages.

Try liking the “People Who Still Lactate” or the “I Find Mr. Belvedere Incredibly Hot” pages.

Because when you do, it’ll appear on your kids pages.  Think about little Justin waking up to find this:

Justin’s Mom likes Conceiving Children in Home Depot Parking Lots.

2. Post Conversations You Can Easily Have On The Phone, On Their Wall.

Once you have Facebook, boycott any real life conversations.  They’re way more fun and alarming to have publicly.

Did your son tinkle on the toilet seat?  Post that to his wall!  Include a fun emoticon like this–> :) and things will work out for the best.

3. Defend Your Kid’s Honor.

Your daughter Sarah just posted a picture of herself.  Her friend Doug comments: wow Sarah, someone’s drunk!  lmaoz.

Not in your yard.

You get right in there and bring it to Doug.  Listen “Doug”.  My beautiful daughter Sarah is not intoxicated.  She’s enthused.  She’s not half-naked on a couch at a dank nightclub, she’s radiant.  And that’s not her making out with a drug dealer named Peanut, she’s in love.

Oh and get him on his “lmaoz”.

Oh!  And nobody lmaozes anymore, shithead.

Nice.

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Sarah has inner beauty.

4. Friend All Of Your Kid’s Friends.

As soon as you get on, send requests to everyone your kid knows.  Start with a fun intro message like I never knew Tommy had such muscular friends!  Rawr.

This will bring you closer to Tommy.

And his muscular friends.

5. Caps Lock Is Optional.

Once my mom turns on Caps Lock, it’s never going off.

That’s why it says ‘Lock’, no?

Use it.

6. Like Every Update Your Kid Posts.

I ate a bad mussel at Red Lobster.  Can’t keep anything down. FML.

Like it.

Like everything your kid does.

7. If Anyone Of The Opposite Sex Comments On Their Wall, Suggest They Date.

If your awkward and gawky son Peter receives a comment from Jill, immediately suggest marriage.

Jill you seem sweet!  My Peter’s such a nice boy.  Why don’t you two meet for dinner one day?

Then wait and observe as Peter dies inside.

8. Continuously Post Comments On Their Wall Until They Respond.

William?  Are you there?

William, please call mom and dad.

William, your status says you’re hanging out with that boy Hakhmeed.

We’re very worried, William.

Is Hakhmeed even American?

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Hakhmeed is now ready to go watch Hot Tub Time Machine.

9. Post Pictures Of Your Kid As A Baby And Tag Them.

Discuss how cute they were when they were little.  Make sure you post that picture of your kid on a staircase.

Why is every baby picture on a staircase?

10. Use Current Acronyms Out Of Context.

No need to understand what they mean, just drop hundreds of acronyms in every comment to your kid.

I’m so FML-ing right now!

I can’t believe how LMAO you look in that OMG picture of yours!  NOM NOM.

There.  You have the knowledge.  Now get out there and ruin lives.

You can touch my electrical body on Facebook here.


dee@tremendousnews.com

Images courtesy of Shutterstock.

  • Alice

    This. Is. Too. Funny!!!!

  • She can’t find it. I tell her to wiggle the mouse but she just
    stares at the screen. Then she gets bored and watches Family Feud.

    http://www.greenr-cleanr.com/

  • Because when you do, it’ll appear on your kids pages.  Think about little Justin waking up to find this:
     

  • She can’t find it.  I tell her to wiggle the mouse but she just
    stares at the screen.  Then she gets bored and watches Family Feud.
     

  • Lucky me!!My parents don't know how to use the computer.

  • Guest

    Yes they do. They just haven't told you yet. :-)

  • Excellent!!  Thank you for the smiles and the, oh wait, GOOD IDEAS.  I AM COL (CHUCKLING OUT LOUD).  :D 

  • wow i hope my mom never sees this page she will actually do them

  • Searched for the information on this theme, and only here I found it.What to do, what to do? My adult daughter is on FB, so I can have some fun. But my mother is also on FB ...

  • Allisa

    WHY MAN WHY MUST U MAKE THIS Dx

  • Blooooops ♥ this.

  • Lulu

    I woke up one moring and had 22 posts... Most of them were from her D:

  • Lulu

    My mom likes everything on my facebook wall... *sigh*

  • My teens are still on Myspace. Don't ask... I haven't figured that out yet either. The stone and chisel set of social media. Weird.

  • My teens are still on Myspace. Don't ask... I haven't figured that out yet either. The stone and chisel set of social media. Weird.

  • redxjak

    wow i hope my mom never sees this page she will actually do them

  • What to do, what to do? My adult daughter is on FB, so I can have some fun. But my mother is also on FB ...

  • lemonade

    hilarious :D:D:D

    "I can’t believe how LMAO you look in that OMG picture of yours! NOM NOM."
    ROFL

  • Ben

    What a dumbass. I would kill my parents if they acted like that

  • Jporras06

    can't stop LMAO-ing. I think something inside me broke. It's FML away.

  • AK

    I feel my dad has read this. I definitely caught him writing 'LOLZZZ' at the end of one of his posts the other day and I almost fell out of my chair.

  • Bttmcneil

    I feel like my mom read this on that god forsaken day she got a facebook.

  • Kenzieisfun

    i had to un friend my mom because she was so anoying but allllll my friends are still friends with her... maybe she read this haha

  • jeffneville

    Excellent - This would drive my kids bonkers if I really did it, although I may try some of the comments to some of the boys that my daughter knows! lol Otherwise, my kids have memories like Elephants and they would pay me back even if they had to wait for years!!

  • I'm extremely tempted to create a page for "Conceiving Children in Home Depot Parking Lots."

  • Kitford

    there is one. I joined it. :) JOIN US.

  • Very funny.. My 13 year old son joined Facebook about a month ago and he kept posting this stupid "Up Butt Coconut" You Tube video and to finally get him to stop I started posting a baby picture every time he posted the video. He quit real quick.

  • so cringe-inducing! arghhhh!

    http://e6n1.blogspot.com/

  • JoeSixPacks

    This is giving me some ideas...

  • Dawn

    My daughter just turned 13 yesterday :) Oh I cant wait to use these !!!!!!!!

  • ateen

    i am a teen. my mother has a facebook. i found her looking at this. and now i am totally screwed. thanks mums. thanks a lot.

  • Hilarious. This demands a series. How to embarrass your husband, wife, siblings, best friend, teachers, students, coworkers....

  • DyaDrene

    hahahahahaha OMG i love this entry....i could die just by laughing...great work Mr Tremendous News!

  • constantinople

    I thought fb was for the older crowd, the kids should stick with their Myspace!!!!

  • Marshmeller Ninja

    Myspace sucks.!!!!

  • Now I know why I must not use facebook or buy a computer to my mother.

  • JS

    My mom and another "older" FB friend recently had a 9-comment-long conversation on my wall about how "delicious" Orlando Bloom is. Horrifying.

  • This should be renamed to "The top ten reasons why I avoid facebook like it's an STD and have been a Twitter junkie since mom and dad thought they were f'kn hip and joined a social media site to ruin my life"

    Great write, it's one of my favorites so far that you've done.

    So good job shithead ;)

  • This is hilarious! I don't have kids, but I do follow my younger nieces and nephews, so I'll be sure to follow these tips so I'm still the cool Aunt Maria!

  • ShaunaLuscious

    Too funny! Unfortunately my mother-in-law likes to use many of these tactics!

  • Hilarious! i am glad i kept my mom off Facebook :p

  • Very witty post, I liked it. There's two signs to every coin though - my son seems to get pleasure out of embarrasing me using some of these methods :)

  • Lol, that was really hilarious and makes me thank Lord once again that my mom is not tech savvy ;)

  • Lyn

    You forgot "hunt down a funny post on their wall and spam it." =D
    Too awesome!

  • Flaming Red

    omg that is too funny I almost did that to my son. He is 29 but I think I probably still would have embarrassed him! Of course I'm doing my best not to embarrass him, maybe I should get a little ornery and try the opposite!

  • OMG I wish I had kids to do all these to...

  • Kaitlin Aubart

    I can’t believe how LMAO you look in that OMG picture of yours! NOM NOM.

    hahahahaha

  • FB Mommy

    Sweet! Now I know what to do with the backyard potty picture, complete with teddy bear and John Lennon glasses. Paybacks - ya gotta love 'em. ZOMGLMAOBBQsauce :)!

  • Lennon=Potter in the 2000's

    Good news, this generation will not refer to them as John Lennon Glasses, but Harry Potter Glasses, so the embarrassment potential is even higher.

  • aliliebs

    my mom is on facebook. my younger brother updated his status to, "finals are totally f***ing me over!"

    my mom's comment on his status:
    "michael. wash your mouth out with soap. this is your mother speaking."

  • rosevibe

    I <3 #7 *grin* I know how much you <3 <3's..

  • #9-a - Naked baby pictures. Especially the bath in the sink.

  • hilarious! i like to write "fist bumps and ass slaps" on the walls of my daughter's GFs. i'm badass like that.

  • Jennifer Gallagher

    Loved this ... as a Mom and a grandma on FB lol lol

  • this is freakin gold

  • creativefeed

    In addition to Melinda's post, there is also this....
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

    www.creativefeed.net/blog

  • roiologist

    This is absolutely hilarious. Call it payback for all of those Trolling eyes, "I hate you's," "I wish you were dead's," and $600 cell phone charges!

  • Oh, and there's always this...
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • What about three generations, my Mum is on FB, and so is my daughter - additional tips please for passing the humiliation on

  • NanaWhip

    As a Nana & Mom loved this posting it on FB so more parents can have fun Thanks Steve

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