7 Signs You’re Taking Yourself Too Seriously On The Internet.


It’s easy to be an egotistical maniac in social media.

Within this safe cocoon, you’re liked.  Appreciated.  Respected.

Outside it, you’re an alarming shithead.

I, on the other hand, have found away to be the latter in both.

You had to look up what “latter” meant, didn’t you? You always mistake it for “former.”

There’s no time, schizophrenic italic voice-in-my-head.

No time for that now.

Seven signs you’re taking yourself way too seriously on the Internet.

1. You Actually Posed For A Picture With The Clear Intention Of It Being Your Facebook Or Twitter Profile Picture.



You know there are photographers that specialize in taking profile pictures for people?


People go to a photo shoot to take pictures of themselves to use on social media.

Imagine that nerdy photo shoot.

Don?  Don.  I need you to bring more energy if you think these are going up on Twitter.

Then Don poses, extra douchey

That’s it Don.  Work that body.  Work it like you know you’re number one on RetweetRank.



2. For Real-Life Crises, You Seek Advice From Anonymous Internet People.

Just got evicted, bitch girlfriend sleeping with my best friend and boss about to fire me.  I need your help, tweeps!


Forget the tweeps.

Now’s a good time to remember the people who don’t have an avatar.

3. You Have Customized Social Media Clothes.

I saw a picture from SXSW (the nerd part of the festival, not the cool part) where this dude was wearing a custom-made T Shirt with his Twitter name on the front.

There’s gotta be a better way to declare abstinence.

4. You Think Your Facebook Fans Are Like Real Fans.

Facebook is brilliant.

They looked at their core audience and noticed something.

Everyone here is a self-promoting lunatic.

So instead of “members” of a Fan page, or “followers” of a fan page, they gave the douches exactly what they craved.


But it’s only a word Facebook chose.  Not reality.

You don’t have fans.

You have people who are moderately interested in you, people who mistakenly clicked on a suggestion, or people who feel bad for ignoring you.

That’s it.

I have a “fan” page.  That means there are people who have finally been worn down by me to be fans of Tremendous News.

Do you think anyone there’s happy to be part of that club?



279 people have decided my news is not-so-tremendous.

5. You Panic When Your Follower/Fan/Friend Growth Stalls.

You have a pace of people buying into you each day.  The day it stalls, you panic.  Wonder what you’re doing wrong.

Perhaps schedule another profile-picture photo shoot.


You’re so lame.

6. You Think You Have More Influence Than Established Mediums.

Why would someone advertise in the New York Times or WSJ?  Are they medieval?  They just need Twitter and Facebook influencers to talk about their product.

The funny part is that the only people who believe this are the self-proclaimed ‘influencers’ themselves.

7. You Think Because A Celebrity Acknowledges Your Existence, You’re Immediately Friends.

I’ve been promoted by celebrities on social media.  But does this mean I can call them my friends?

Hell no.

I can’t even call some of my real-life friends my friends.

I got an email the other day from my friend Wayne Berrins instructing me never to use his name on TN.

He’s lucky I respect his wishes.


Me spiraling emotionally after being warned not to publicly admit I'm friends with someone.

There you have it.  Call this an electrical intervention.

Maybe you have more examples of people taking themselves too seriously on the Internet you can share.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m late for a photo shoot.

Follow me on Twitter here.


  • 1. You Actually Posed For A Picture With The Clear Intention Of It Being Your Facebook Or Twitter Profile Picture.

  • I really like the coach of the bag, if you do not have it quickly have 

  • Sdfgh

     You got spam!

  • Great Information about Internet. Thanking You...

  • some people are taking very interest for collection the photography and save it to themselves for the his future when he see it again then he remember his beautiful  past life.if we notice that photo collection is very good thing.like that our some friends which we spent lot beautiful time in the past but in the future when we see them in the picture with us.we miss him........

  • Jo

    One sign = losing your mind and freaking out on someone if they removed you as a friend and ulitmately destroying that relationship because of turning into a 12 year old over it.

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  • Great tips about internet surffing

  • lol wow. I can relate to this...well only to the first one =P. Thanks for sharing!

  • Then there's the sure sign you talk yourself too serious. You write a post about what is cool or not in social media

  • What about having more than one account?

  • $927230

    I miss real life.

  • $927230

    None of those really pertain to me, but I did give my dog his own facebook fan page. It can be found at the following link: http://www.facebook.com/pages/...

  • vegitation

    you have boobs in your self portrait

  • None of these points are true for me. I feel better about my Twitter addiction.

  • intertard

    or in a stroke of complete irony you make fun of other people doing the same shit as you to get more traffic and followers... srsbsns

  • Poor Wayne Berris : )

  • 9th sign I'm taking myself too seriously on the Internet: I've created a Twitter account on my Birthday to celebrate my Birthday along with my Twiversary the next years.

  • 8th sign I'm taking myself too seriously on the Internet: I've changed my Twitter username about 10 times!

  • Everyone here is a self-promoting lunatic —precisely as God has intended. Otherwise s/he would never have invented blog comments... *waves arms wildly* HI EVERYBODY!!! My name is @kim. How do you like me so far? ;)

  • Chortle. Loving it Kim :)

  • @molesworth_1

    Re No.6 The plural of medium is media.

  • Dee, thanks for continuous chuckles ,-D

    Here's one of my pet peeves that I think'd fit in:
    "You feel compelled to @friend one of your followers who has mentioned @you in a tweet"

    To me, this is one of the strongest signs that people really need to see their name in (digital) print; I feel sorry for them.

  • Very helpful. I thought my posts were too brief, but based on your advice some of them could use trimming.

  • This is just great! Thank you.
    PS: Even though it looks it, no, we did not pose for our twitter avatar picture. That was for a genuine news story.

  • Professional photos are great if you are on social media for business.

  • Gm Wilwayco

    True, that.

  • Wayne

    Oh hell 6 out of 7 are me... God please come and claim me!

  • LMAO!!! This should be re-titled... you know you're a Social Media Addict if... :P


  • Margaret McGann

    Thanks for my best laugh this week.

  • Very helpful. I thought my posts were too brief, but based on your advice some of them could use trimming.

  • Margaret McGann

    Thanks for my best laugh all week.

  • 7 Signs You’re Taking Yourself Too Seriously On The Internet.

  • Hey, I loved wearing my Twitter t-shirt at south-by: http://www.flickr.com/photos/lloyd-davis/4439229974/ - How else am I going to remember who I am ;).

  • I can relate to this totally. Great post!

  • Rab

    I know people just like this. They are all around me.

  • Don Felipes Chelas

    probando desde que cuenta esta esto

  • Good post. But we have to agree heavy social media users are taking it seriously. Bloggers and some podcasters rely on social media to pull in most of their traffic, ect.

  • Nick

    P.S. I cannot believe span style="font-style: italic;" actually worked. sweet

  • Nick

    BRILLIANT! Though it scares me to relate so much to the "schizophrenic italic voice-in-your/my-head" ...

    does that make me schizophrenic? or just awesome?

  • Dude, I thought we were friends. Like, for real. First, we connect on twitter, then I comment on your blog. Next thing I know: Restraining Order. Seriously? After we shared all those LOLs and ROTFLs? Is it all those profile pics I took through your parent's basement window? I was just trying to help.

    Gotta go. They just discovered I got out of the restraints. All those years of yoga are paying off. Don't worry, I'll be back soon!

  • why do i kind of want a @pattypunker tshirt? it's all clear to me now.

  • i only use social media to *seriously* promote the shit out of myself. i hate most people and my closest companions have always been dogs. too bad they can't use the internet.

  • I've declared my abstinence electronically, but not on a t-shirt. I think a blog dedicated specifically to it is more fitting. : D

  • Haley

    "There's gotta be a better way to declare abstinance." No, no there isn't.

  • evo

    This wasn't even funny..

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