5 Steps To Seduce Any Woman On Facebook.

Largest Facebook Group

1. Leave A Passive-Aggressive Comment On Her Relationship Status When She Announces She’s Single.

Finally!  After years of dating a guy you know you’re better than, she’s broken it off.

Now it’s time to strike.

DON’T: Tell her you totally want to do her and you’ve been waiting for this for years.

DON’T: Tell her you’re nude.

DO: Like the Status.  Write Welcome to the singles club!  Trust me!  So much fun!

Then die a little inside.

2. Start To Creep Her Pictures.  It’s Only Really Over When She Removes The Pictures Of Them Together.

You still see pictures of her and her ex boyfriend together and he’s tagged?  They’re still totally doing each other.

You have to wait it out.

Creepily lurk beneath the shadows, waiting.

Soon, she’ll remove the tag.  Soon, he’ll be gone.

And soon, you’ll see a picture of her posing sexily, where you can tell she took the picture herself.

Hilarious.

DON’T: Ask her why she still has pictures of her ex boyfriend up.

DON’T: Tell her she needs to take them down or you’ll cut yourself.

DO: Wait.  Perhaps send her a fun link to Mashable?

3. Make A Humorous Observation About Her Status Update.

This is the hardest part of the process.  You have to actually show some personality.

I know.  I know.

Exhausting.

The trick here is to make a comment about her status update that shows her that you’re unique and in most cases, that you exist.

Suppose she updates with I so need a vacation right now!

DON’T: Write “to my pants?”

DON’T: Tell her you’re nude.

DO: Add a flavorful comment,  Me too!  I’d go anywhere right now.  Except North Dakota.  You know why? Because it’s North Dakota.

That should work unless she’s actually from North Dakota.

But in that case, abort mission.

4. Wait For A Few Days, Then Send Her A Private Message.

This is the follow-up on the vacation.  Shit on North Dakota some more.

This friendly banter allows you to strike with your charm.  Trust me.  Just copy and paste the next line.

I have five reasons why you being single is a great thing.  You want to know them?

See what I did there?  I used nerdy blog shit to get her attention.

DON’T: Start by asking her what she’s wearing.

DON’T: Adjust the line to “One Reason, My Package.”

DO: Add a semicolon-right-parenthesis to be pleasant.

5. Give Her Four Charming Reasons And Use The Last Reason To Ask Her Out For A Cocktail.

She’s more than likely curious.

She’ll reply.  Be charming here.  And then drop the invitation to join you for drinks.

DON’T: Leave out the word “tail” from “cocktail”

DO: Have a good time.

There you have it.  And if you’re from North Dakota, I was kidding.  The last thing I need is North Dakotans in a rage.

If you liked this article, share it with all your hilariously-single friends.

For more dating advice, Facebook me here.

On Twitter?  Follow me here.



dee@tremendousnews.com


  • @umehoma

    yea right. cool stuff but more like in a movie

  • dan

    SAY NO TO BREAST INPLANT!
    STAY NATURAL!

    PLEASE OPEN THE PAGE AND CLICK LIKE!!!! SALAMAT!!!

    http://www.facebook.com/pages/...
    pls?

  • You’ll see a picture of her posing sexily, where you can tell she took the picture herself.

  • Welcome to my site, there are your favorite coach handbag .

  • NicolasBalan

    ...Brilliant... ...So funny...! ...Good job and you have my 4.907 "Like"...

  • nash oudha

    Don't forget to like every thing she posts on facebook whatever it is.. this is sneakiest way 

  • Awesome, definately added to my knowledge on women.

    Will be trying these tips on facebook.

  • Thanks for the information! Very entertaining. Good job man :) My favorite, "Don't remove the word "tail" from "cocktail"" LMAO!

  • aliliebs

    you forgot to talk about that grey area when the relationship status is set to "it's complicated"

    then all bets are off and all of your don'ts turn to dos ... right?

  • Buhahaha

  • Guest

    Good work, my fine Canadian friend- your funniest offering for a while!!

  • seduce me.

  • Very entertaining. Good job man :) My favorite, "Don't remove the word "tail" from "cocktail"" LMAO!

  • k8

    Now I wanna go to North Dakota.

  • No you don't

  • crystalgibson

    This is amazing.
    Thank goodness I'm not from North Dakota and thank goodness I have no relationship status.

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