5 Reasons You Shouldn’t Blame Jesse James Just Yet.


Jesse James is facing a massive storm of electrical hate today amid allegations that he cheated on super hot Sandra Bullock.

Jesse and I are friends.


Jesse and I are e-friends.

Also a lie.

Jesse and I followed each other on Twitter and he agreed to do an article with me on Tremendous News.

Honesty feels better.

So unlike thousands of my friends and family, Jesse was actually nice to me.

Today I will defend him.

Really?  Because that’s a shit storm of anger you’re asking for.

I’m also not that bright.

Let’s get started.

Five reasons we should delay vilifying Jesse James.

1. Claims Aren’t Facts.

The tattooed individual making the claims is doing exactly that.  Making a claim.

There’s no proof yet.  It’s not like Tiger Woods where there was a magical parade of mistresses.

Until there’s something more than a claim, I’m reserving judgement.

Also, the “text message photo” could be from anyone she named Jesse James on her phone.

I have “He Man”, but it’s really just my grandmother.


It makes me feel cool.

2. Why Would He Cheat On Sandra Bullock?

She’s super hot.  Talented.  She seems friendly in interviews.

Did you watch Speed?

It’s the reason why I still take the bus.

(Also, poorness)

3. Everyone Wants Their 15 Minutes.  Especially Webcam Girls.

The Tiger Woods scandal showed mistresses they could have massive celebrity, even if it’s fleeting.

What if Jesse James was talking to this tattoo lady, she wanted more, and Jesse was like “oh no you did-aaant”, snapping his fingers in a triangular fashion?

Then, out of rage, she goes to the press with lies?

It’s just as possible as the other thing.

4. Sandra Bullock Could Have Moved Out And Canceled Her Appearance At The Premiere Just Because Of The Allegations.

That’s what happens when you hear stuff like this.

You get mad.

If ever got a girlfriend and I heard allegations of her cheating on me, I’d be livid.

Even before I investigated.

This might be what Sandra’s doing right now.

OK, you can stop laughing about the idea of me ever having a girlfriend.


5. They Seemed To Have A Good Marriage.

Did you hear her talking to Barbara Walters?  How about her acceptance speech?

It’s possible this is all a massive misunderstanding blown apart by outrageous media.

It’s also possible I’m a complete doofus and don’t know what I’m talking about.

Either way, I’m hoping for the best.

Sandra Bullock is tremendous.

Yell at me on Twitter here.