5 Signs You Tweet Too Much.

Posted by Tremendous in Featured Articles, Nerdynessdom, Twitter. on 01 4th, 2010 | Comments
The joy on this individual's face tells me that she clearly hasn't read my tweets.

The joy on this individual's face tells me that she clearly hasn't read my tweets.

I follow about 500 people on Twitter.

The perfect amount.

I never miss anything anyone says.

Plus, I tell my mom I have 500 friends.

What?

It’s not not-true.

As we know, Twitter is plagued with a raging undercurrent of insecurity.

People don’t want to offend their followers because if they do, someone they don’t know won’t read what they have to say.

Makes total sense.

I’ve noticed people I enjoy following are worried that they’re tweeting too much.  And since I can’t just say tweet on, friend, because that’s alarmingly creepy and nobody says tweet on, friend, I will craft a handy list of signs so you know if you’re tweeting too much.

If you do these things, you tweet too much.

But don’t stop.  Don’t stop.  In fact, tweet more.  Screw your followers.

I have since February.

Let’s get started.

1. When Someone Tells You “You Tweet Too Much”, It Emotionally Destroys You.

Someone telling you that you tweet too much is hard to take.  It’s like when someone tells you that you ‘talk too much’.

What are you going to do to defend yourself?

Talk?

Ha.

Way to show them.

2. You Poll Your Followers With The Question “Do I Tweet Too Much?” And Then Hate Anyone Who Says Yes.

There’s this 20 year old chick I follow that tweets a lot. Anything she’s doing, she’ll tweet it.

hey guys!  uhh…jus wakin up.

where’s my snooze haha there it is

mmmm water.

brushin mah teeth lmao

On and on.  All day.

You’d think I’d unfollow her, right?

Hell no.

From her, I harvest tiny medallions of Twitter culture to present to you on this blog.

She’s my golden goose of vapidity.

Especially when she does this:

grrr some dood jus told me dat i tweet 2 much. pfft. whatever lmao

Moments pass.

She finally breaks.

do i?

Then she waits.

Then I wait.

Twitter waits.

Some guy from El Paso nervously emerges from the darkness.  He summons the courage to tell her the truth.  The honest answer to the question she asks.

you could tweet less, Sara!

Devastation.

oh whatveer im unfollowing jerks who are mean

What a poll.

3. You Put Yourself In A Self-Imposed Tweeting Timeout.

I’ve done this.

When I feel I’ve overexposed my super hot electrical body on Twitter, I will take myself out for days at a time.

Just so that people want me more when I return.

Then I return to the crushing reality that nobody noticed I left.

Timeouts are hurtful.

4. You Celebrate Tweet Milestones.

Guys!  Only 3 more until I have 10 000 tweets!

This individual is celebrating his 10,000th tweet.

Celebrating.

Celebrating how many tweets you’ve written is like celebrating how many calls you’ve made on your cell phone.

Hey, you busy?  I won’t take long.  I just wanted to call and let you know this is the five thousandth call I’ve made.  Can you believe it?!  This call right now!  I know right?  I just checked my call log and it was at 4999 and I was like, holy shit!  I need to call someone and celebrate.

5. You Have 7-Tweet Sagas.

If you have to continue your tweet across seven different tweets by using (cont.), you defeat the entire purpose of Twitter.

Your analysis of Twilight New Moon isn’t an epic trilogy.

It isn’t.

140 characters is the limit for everyone, yappy.

–

There you go.

If you think you tweet too much, I have a message for you.

Don’t stop.

You don’t need followers who unfollow you because of it.  They’ll be replaced.

It’s up to them to organize their shit into nerdy columns.

Just keep doing what you’re doing.

Wait!  I can sum it up in three words written in highly off putting italics.

Tweet on, friend.

–

Follow me brushin’ mah teeth on twitter here lmao



  • ChrisInKingston

    3 years later, this never gets old

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  • Answering Bell

    Thankyou for this! I was seriously panicking and thinking I tweet too much and I must seem crazy and obsessed with Twitter. It made me hate myself. Yesterday I told myself I wouldn't tweet, but I tweeted even more than the day before. So fuck it. Why am I worried about others? Who cares. At least we have stuff to say. And I don't say inane things, but even if I did, oh well. People can unfollow. SCREW EVERYONE!

  • Spartan

    Do you guys not get it. The author of this blog is not writing this to make you feel good about how much you tweet. Reading is reading but can you comprehend what you're reading? Can you detect sarcasm in the authors message? Can you detect sarcasm in my message?!

    The fact in the matter is if you think you tweet too much, chances are you do. That just means you really need to find something better to occupy your time. I've always been one for socializing and networking because I'm into business and business marketing but that's the only time I feel that someone should really try to reach out to others, when Its going to profit them in the long run. How in the world is spending countless hours posting and reading stupid tweets about what someone is doing or did going to benefit you.

    To prevent myself from writing too much, let me just summarize and say, for woman who are tweeting too much just know to a serious guy or girl you're just a joke to them because people who have serious things going on on there lives don't have that much energy to burn. It's unattractive and simply moronic. Like the famous quote says an empty wagon makes a lot of noise.

  • Carolina Rain

    You're right. I guess I should be really concerned about what strangers I'll never meet in my entire life think of me. Sense the sarcasm there? Douchebag.

  • First, because of "difficult to reach. Year after the Great Hanshin earthquake housing reconstruction only occupancy rate for the first split up the framework of the original community, resulting in a neighborhood unfamiliar, there have been a "lonely death" phenomenon. To draw such lessons, the reconstruction of residential stressed to maintain the existing neighborhood framework, and strive to collective relocation. However, difficult to reach .

  • 3536236

  • It post is so funny guys. And thanks to all of you for comments.

  • ONE OF MANY CLAUDIA HUMPHREYS

    duh i don't think a tweet is a simple thing, just tweet, communicate and when you are done
    GOD BLESS YOU ALL VERY MUCH!  I just had to say that,
    the pressure to compete is not there, it is simply wonderful to share your thoughts, dreams, aspirations and find the results right back at you on the same page.
    thanks... oh yeah go anonymous too if you dare!  but i don'tbelieve they will keep that a secret!!ha,ha,ha!

  • Luke Slade

    quite like this :]

  • This was funny. And I did a timeout. It was an epic fail :P

  • SmackOfHam.com

    Outstanding. Amusing and truthful - great post. I tend to figure that as long as I have something I think others will like, I'll tweet. There are days where I have nothin' and those days will be light tweeting days, maybe just responding to questions others have tweeted.

  • Luis

    I say "I'm going to tweet that" just to see some people roll their eyes or the surprise look on their face

  • Mo

    I do this all the time, but as a threat to my bf when he says something ridiculous.

  • Too funny and spot on...lol

  • David Hunter

    Hey! I celebrate Tweet milestones! (Albeit with tongue planted firmly in cheek =)

  • Am I the only idiot who religiously deletes her selected tweets and retweets weekly like housekeeping? Ahmm, --------> WE NEED LIVES.

  • I have yet to sign up for twitter, but this is hilarious.

  • Ahaaa

    Haha love it!
    I tweet more than i text! Hell i probably tweet more than i talk!! lol

  • Asish

    wonderful! enjoyed it, Tweet On world! -@tweeter_boi

  • Nice post. You have made some very informative points. Social media is definitely changing the way we market online, whether fast or slow. Thanks for sharing.

  • Bonus Point: You tweet-a-lot if you unfollowed the guy who sent you this article

  • Hilarious as always!

    I was crushed ;) when I first read no one says 'Tweet On' because I might have in the past, ha ha! I'm with you about who cares if I get unfollowed for a tweet or tweeting too much! I'm not into trying to get numbers anyway or following all back; that would be so not fun for me. If you don't like it, simply unfollow ~ I do!

    Thanks for the wickedness and truth! Such delight....

  • Lol, this is great as always.

  • I'm waiting for one of my friends to say I tweet too much, so I can say "well you don't tweet enough"

  • kerryrego

    True humor is hard to find in social media. Thanks for the laugh. "Do I tweet too much?" makes me think of a girl trying on a pair of jeans and asking if her butt looks fat. If you're asking, of course you do!

  • Tweet on friends : )

  • melissagalt

    You are hilarious!! I loved this post, keep it coming. Terrifyingly accurate and howlingly funny for that very reason. I will Tweet on, my Friend, I will, I will!

  • lucascott

    do you tweet too much? well you did just grab your iphone to tweet before smoking the post cig. so yeah.
    and BTW, she was faking

  • You know, future husband [if @grumpalicious ever gives up on me], you can tweet a LOT and most will never know if you only reply to people and you make sure none of them follow each other...you follow me? Or should say, You get it?

  • I like this post. Very informative.

  • This is cute I enjoyed it and I agree! Who wants an empty twitterfeed. So tweet what you had for lunch cuz I wanna know!

  • silverweb7

    Hilarious and, unfortunately true. I am following at least one person just like that. I don't even get close to reading every tweet. Therefore, I find it amusing. I did wonder why thre is no mention of the 'auto-tweet' which is either copying entries from "Bartlett's Familiar Quotations" or selling something involving tooth whitening or another dodgy work-at-home scheme or advice on how and what to tweet ..or not. I'm not totally dependent on Twitter anyway. I have a blog page I'm not sure anyone has read any time these past four years. All I know is no one has ever left a comment which says I blog too much. That would interesting.

  • How I loved this: what a mantra - GIVE ME MORE of alternative TWITTER TIPS like this please! The Twitter world is filled with people who want to slap you down in public you just because they can. If someone tweets a lot - so what? It's better than a dull scroll sitting in front of you, isn't it? Better than the mafia of dullard pedants tweeting once every 2 hours about the weather in ALASKA, and who just want to make a point for the sake of it. xxx

  • I havn't celebrated my tweets (yet) but I do celebrate my phone calls and my texts. The other person usually doesn't care until its their turn to celebrate. They call me up and I say, yeah...in your face, I knew you would celebrate. I can't believe you made fun of me..... LOL.....
    It happens.

  • LMAO!!!!

  • Hilarious! I love this.....and I quite possibly "tweet too much." Not really! ;)

  • RK

    Nicely done my ever Tweetin' friend :o)

  • This should be 2010 Resolution: If someone tells u that u tweet too much.. REPORT them to SPAM

    *EVIL GRINS*

  • Rhonda

    I forgot to mention in my earlier post, BOOBS! Only following facebook instructions!

  • Rhonda

    In a sad and pathetic way, by reading your blogs I learning the proper "twitter" etiquette and avoiding any possible situation where I can make a complete ass out of myself. In the future I will read your blog before signing up for any new trendy internet craze. Thank you TN for being such a wealth of knowledge and information for us mis-informed lost souls.

    Oh, yeah I tweet too much, suck it up buttercup!

  • BOOBS! (are you satisfied Haley?) ; )

  • This post made me laugh out loud... several times. I think I actually had a tear in my eye. Thanks for sharing :)

  • rikkitikkit

    This is hilarious! I think I fit all the categories.

  • "Celebrating how many tweets you’ve written is like celebrating how many calls you’ve made on your cell phone." You are a genius. Employed or not.

  • Awesome points mentioned. Good read.

  • Great read, enjoyed it. You have a great style :) ~ Adam

  • Good toast! As i was reading it i couldn't stop thinking about boobs.

  • whoa we are think alike bro LOL!

  • I over-tweet. The first step is admitting it's a problem. The second is to tweet about it, then compulsively check to see if anybody responds. Step 3? Higher power. And tweeting about your recovery with hashtags like #Jesussavessoyoudon'tneedtobackupyourstuffsomuchifyoufollowhimwhichyoureallyshouldifyouwantyourstufftobesaved

  • i'd like to tweet more, but i'm usually too busy fondling my enormous boobs, and that's just something i don't want to share with people. i unfollow anyone who tweets in succession. if you can't say it with 140 characters you should write a blog. or a letter. or a novel. or a comment.

  • i had someone tell me i tweeted too much the other day...

    i blocked them.

  • Actually I have about 20 people who literally told me I tweet too much.. ah well.. for me I only pass valuable information to the public.. i don't tweet from my phone (its 6 years old phone LOL!) so there are times when i am not tweeting, also i don't tweet things like .. "Brushing my tooth etc" :P .. having said all this i make conversations with many people and time to time I like to thank them for generous retweets.. oh well.. back to topic .. so when people DM me .. "I am going to unfollow you because you tweet so much" .. I can't DM them back becz they already unfollowed me.. devastated ... with a broken heart i report them to spam (nah! just joking LOL!).. fun fact is these people never interacted or conversed over twitter with me for a single time.. but they were there to judge me anyway .. how fun is that .. so i would sing along with you "Tweet on, Friend"

  • Same happened with me, after that am also posting some valubale things to my frnds

  • @shultzyness

    Just recently having gone thru the "do I tweet to much?" dilemma (you DO see everything TN!) I too, put myself into a "time out"! However it was short lived and I'm right back to my usual amount of incessant tweeting. Besides, I can't help it...I just do what my enormous boobs tell me to do. (and Karlastegui, it's true!!!)

  • karlastegui

    Now that this existential question about my life has been settled for 2010 I´ll tweet happily knowing I do it too much...you want to know why? someone told me it will make my boobs get bigger!

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