The “How Much Is Twitter Worth” Quiz! How Do You Rank?

2BattleTwit_wKateKelton

I’m no Brad Pitt.

That’s a startling reality I have to live with each day.

Each day I wake up, look in the mirror and smile.

Non-creepy this time.  Non-creepy.  Just like every other guy.

That’s what I say to myself.

And each day I go to the coffee shop and stare at chicks with my well-rehearsed non-creepy smile.

Nothing.

Chicks don’t dig me.

That’s fine.

That’s why I retreat to my parents’ basement and type my “blog” that nobody reads.

See?

This is what super hot chicks have pushed me to.

Blogging.

Thanks, girls.

Because this is fun.

Today, I’ve been treated to a special surprise.  A young lady I admire in talking pictures, or talkies as they like to say in Hollywood, has joined me for this article.

Her name is Kate Kelton.

You might remember Kate from Harold and Kumar.  She was one of the young ladies who experienced alarming gastrointestinal issues in a scene referred to as “battleshit”.

Brooke_D_Orsay_Kate_Kelton_Harald_and_Kumar_Go_To_White_Castle_7

Kate competing with a friend to see who can be most intolerant to lactose.

She is also the face of Tic Tac mints.

kke_tictac

Kelton is an agreeable-looking young lady who has a special fondness for Tremendous News.

Today, I put her to the test.

We’ll play a game called BattleTwit.

Twitter has recently been valued at $1 Billion dollars.  That’s a lot of money.  But how much is that really?

In this game, we’ll soon find out.

You can play along at home.  See how many of the following questions you can get right, and leave your score in the comment section.

Also?

Kate, don’t read this section in italics.  Thanks.

People, tell Kate in the comment section how super hot I am and how she should like totally make out with me.  Okay?  What.  That’s so hard?  What have you done anyway?  You just sit there and read and suck the life-energy out of me and don’t give me anything in return.  The least you can do is this.  Stop complaining.  Jerks.

OK Kate.  Let’s get started.

What’s Worth More?

1. Twitter or Domino’s Pizza.

300_41308

Domino’s has over 145, 000 employees and has operations in over 55 countries.  I picked the worst possible picture possible.  I know.  That kid looks way too happy to be delivering pizza. But I like his jacket.  It looks like it would be comfy, you know?  They also have 8500 locations.

Kelton’s Choice: Twitter, but pizza tastes better.

2. Twitter or the Gross Domestic Product of Monaco?

monaco-home

Just to clarify, the gross domestic product means the total value of all goods and services a country produces.  Think about it.  Monaco is a country.  Do you think they produce more than a billion dollars, the valuation of Twitter?

Kelton’s Choice: I’m betting Twitter.  Monaco’s rich, but Monaco is TINY.

3. Twitter or the cost to build the Bellagio Hotel in Las Vegas?

bellagio

At the time it was built, it was heralded as the most expensive hotel built in Las Vegas.  Also?  It has fountains.

Kelton’s Choice:  Wasn’t that built in the 90’s? I rest my case. (I don’t actually know what that means) Twitter.

4. Twitter of the value of the New York Giants?

NFL-New-York-Giants-36-Philadelphia-31

It’s the New York freaking Giants people.

Kelton’s Choice: Does he make canned veggies? Oh no, that’s right… you mean sports. My default here is Twitter.

5. Twitter or the worldwide gross of Lord of The Rings: The Return of the King?

lord_of_the_rings_the_return_of_the_king

Pretty massive movie.  Think of the worldwide gross.  Even people in Easter Island, if they watched it, count towards this number.  Easter Island box office sales plus DVD and cable?  That’s gotta be huge.

Kelton’s Choice: Aw, that coulda been tricky if you were combining all three, Tremendous. Twitter. (I’m all optimistic like that 😉

6. Twitter or the total net worth of Steve Wynn, the casino mogul and owner of the Wynn Las Vegas ?

wynn0508

Any dude with a picture like that has gotta be like totally loaded.

Kate’s Choice: Even Bill Gates is only worth 40 billion or so, isn’t he? (Wait.  I’m getting my millions and billions mixed up again, aren’t I? Pass. Grumble.)

Kate’s Choice After I Force Her To Make A Choice.  It’s a game, Kate.  A game: Twitter.

7. Twitter or a brand-new US B2 Stealth Bomber?

b-2-stealth-bomber

That looks way more expensive than my bus pass.

Kate’s Choice: Twitter’s the bomb, yo.  It don’t start wars.  Morally bound to choose Twitter here.

There you go.

Now make sure you pick one in each of the seven.  Did you jot them down on a piece of foolscap?  If you haven’t, go back and do that.

Why didn’t you just make this into a quiz like every other quiz on the Internet. Who has foolscap laying around?  Who even uses the word foolscap?

Tremendous News is old school, son!

OK.  Here are the answers.

1. Twitter is worth more than Domino’s Pizza.

2. Twitter is worth more than the GDP of Monaco.

3. Twitter is worth less than the cost to build the Bellagio.

4. Twitter is worth less than the New York Giants.

5. Twitter is worth less than the worldwide gross of Lord of the Rings: Return of the King.

6. Twitter is worth more than Steve Wynn’s reported net worth.

7. Twitter is worth more than a B-2 Stealth bomber.

Kate scores a 4 out of 7 for 57%

Thank you to Kate Kelton for helping with this game.  Let’s finish this post with some questions I had for her.

How did you find Tremendous News?

I’ve been asking myself the exact same question for weeks now. Your guess is as good as mine, you ubiquitous little bastard you.

I have no idea what that means.  But it sounds like I’m important.  Thank you!  Why do you like totally want my super hot body?

Wait, I want whut now?!

What are you doing exactly right now?

Hhm…nothing I could tell you without killing you…oh! I’ve been
asked to join a great ensemble cast for this indie feature,
http://thelongerdayofhappiness.com/ and other then for balance, I’ve
been painting my hairdresser’s incredibly cute kid. She’s a peach.
(And he cuts darn good hair. :} Ask for Sean if yer ever in the l’ile
Santa Monica known oasis, Art Luna Salon.
http://www.style.com/vogue/voguedaily/2009/07/urban-oases/artluna6-l1050899/
)

Hhm…nothing I could tell you without killing you…oh! I’ve been asked to join a great ensemble cast for this indie feature, http://thelongerdayofhappiness.com/ and other then for balance, I’ve been painting my hairdresser’s incredibly cute kid. She’s a peach. (And he cuts darn good hair.  Ask for Sean if yer ever in the l’ile Santa Monica known oasis, Art Luna Salon.)

Can we see the picture you painted?  As you know, I’m quite an artist myself.

…here’s one almost done? lol couple mo’tweaks..

weegia

Well then.  That appears to be much better than my stick-moob drawings.  You’re quite an artist, Keltonnyness.

You can follow Kate Kelton on her Twitter page here.

Thanks to Khayyam Wakil for the header graphic.

Want to tweak my moobs on Twitter?  Follow me here.