Local Hospital To Tweet Baby’s Delivery At Midnight.

Posted by Tremendous in Life., Twitter. on 09 29th, 2009 | Comments

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I finally have news.

It’s only taken, what, six months?

Some news site I’ve got here.

Tonight, at midnight central, the OSF St Joseph Medical Center in Bloomington, IL will tweet a real “birthing experience”.

Live.

So basically, this lady will give birth.  Then someone who witnesses this birth will give all of twitter the play-by-play.

How very tremendous.

If I was ever given that job, here’s what I’d tweet.

12AM: Okay I’m sitting here with this pregnant lady who’s all mad at her shithead husband.  And her husband’s crying.  Ha.  Loser.

12:25: She looks ready to pop this kid out.  But she’s still just laying there.  Really?  Could you take any longer?  Golden Girls are on in 5.

12: 45: She’s screaming now and some nurses are injecting her with some shit.  Also? I just completed a bank job in #140mafia.

12:55: OK now she’s all shrill-screaming.  She’s at an octave between the horror-of-seeing-your-cat-die and Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know”.

12:56: FYI I don’t actually like Alanis.

12:56: Fine.  Her music makes me cry.

1:15: OK some crazy shit’s happening and she’s all pushing and yelling.

1:25: She just asked the doctor who that fat, terroristy-looking guy is typing on his laptop. (yay me!)

1:28: More screaming.  I’ll go in for a closer look.

1:29: OH FOR THE LOVE OF…is that?…oh dear god…REALLY?  HOW IS THAT HUMAN?

6:59: OMG you guys!  I fainted! lolz.

That’s just me.  I’m sure the actual staff at this hospital will be much more accurate and non-offensive.

You can follow the live birth here.

You can follow me here.

  • Thanks, TWITTER that change the world by tweet!
  • ukjobs
    Sounds like she has some sort of endorsement deal.



    Find more jobs: http://www.staffingpower.com/
  • OMFG, ROLFMAO, snort, what-have-you.
  • jennuh21
    That has actually already been done by @KarenAlloy a few months ago when she gave birth to her baby LuLu. She also had a live stream on BlogTV during the birth of people giving her encouragement through the whole labor process.
  • I was just about to say the same thing about @KarenAlloy. Its nothing new for ppl to tweet births, the only difference is that a hospital is trying to make its mark on the internet which to me is lame considering child birth doesn't always go according to plan. Why a couple would even agree to this is beyond me OH WAIT, they were probably offered a pile of money and diapers/formula for life or some shit like that.
  • danita
    this is a tremendously funny take on a really stupid idea. seriously, what if there are complications and things don't go well?? having a baby is a serious thing---not to be all morbid but, umm, women sometimes die doing this. bad idea imo.
  • rofflmfao I'm so glad nobody Tweeted during the births of my kids, but if I ever have another, I'd want you to Tweet the chit you fake-Tweeted 'cause that would be funny as hell!
  • 12:55 was the bestest tweet of them all.

    BTW, how do they know she's going to pop the kid out around midnight? Sounds like she has some sort of endorsement deal. If so, the timing is all wrong. Everyone knows that if the news it hot, you gotta go live during morning drive.
  • You know what'd be funnier, get her husband to tweet the birthing experience. I mean what the fuck do we men do anyways? Hold the hand and say "push" repeatedly? Lame. Make him useful. And you will have more time to cry to Alanis. Perfect.
  • Liz Pullen
    People have been Tweeting the birth of their own kids for at least a year, probably more like two. I guess the news is that this time it's being done by a hospital rather than the expectant father.
  • tmac20043
    I dont know if I'm more shocked or disgusted...but a new hashtag will probably go up.. #OMGthegrossestpossiblethingtweetedduringthemiddleofthenight
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