3 Reasons Why Twitter’s New Retweet Function Is Tremendous.


There’s been much hoopla in the Twitter universe over the upcoming changes to the “retweet” function.

Like that?


I was going to use bru-haha but I decided against it.

Because it’s hard to spell.

Some people are angered at how Twitter plans on dealing with retweets.

They want to have the ability to type in “RT @tremendousnews”.  They want the ability to edit.

They feel like they’ll lose control with the new functionality.

One guy even threatened to quit Twitter over it.


How devastatingly nerdy of you, sir.

It’s time to relax and embrace this new change.

Retweets will be insanely better.

Here’s why:

1. People Won’t Be Able To Massacre Your Genius.

I write my tweets exactly the way I want them.  I select choice words.  Carefully craft tone.  Punctuate with precision.

Take a look:


I’m proud of that tweet.

It’s exactly what I wanted to say.  If it gets RTed, I’d hope others can read it in that exact form.

Minutes later, I see this:


WTF is that?

What does that even mean.

But you get the point.


2. If You’re Popular, You’ll Be In Everyone’s Stream.

If you write good tweets and people like them, you’ll be featured everywhere.

The new RT works like this: if you’re not following @tremendousnews but your friend Todd is, and Todd RTs @tremendousnews, you not only see @tremendousnews’ message, you see my avatar.

My name.

It’s like you’re just having a wonderful day talking about leprechauns eating oreos and then boom.

I drop a huge turd in your stream.

Don’t be frightened.

It’s a good thing.

Instead of seeing just the messenger you’re seeing the message.

And you like turds.

smoking hot girl with usaf fighter jet

If you're wondering what this has to do with the new RT functionality on Twitter, the answer is 'everything'

3. You Can See The Weight Of The Message.

Sometimes I see someone RT lolcats and I’m immediately alarmed.

Did that dude just–dude just RTed lolcats, didn’t he?

In *my* stream?

Oh no you did-aan.

Then I snap my fingers in a triangular fashion and head over to his page to unfollow him.

I can haz cheezburger?

Not in my house.

But after the new RT change, I will see this horrible message and underneath it may say RTed by 283, 394 people.

Then instead of unfollowing him, I have to embrace the dark, crippling reality where Lolcats is RTed by a quarter million people.

That’s where I plan on dying a little inside.

Are you laughing at this?  Are you?  Get off my blog immediately.

Are you laughing at this? Are you? Get off my blog immediately.

Those are the reasons why everyone should relax and enjoy the upcoming change to RTs. I know this may change the way you’re ranked on some nerdy website but really?

Were you putting your “retweet rank” on your resume?


Don’t answer that.


Unfollow me on Twitter here.

Follow livecut so he can massacre your tweets too!