Why Nobody Should Accept Kanye’s “Blog” Apology.

During the VMA awards on Sunday night, Kanye West decided to transform into a four year-old.

He took the mic from Taylor Swift as she was accepting an award for this.

This breathtaking genius.

Wait for it.

Yo Taylor, I’m really happy for you, I’ll let you finish, but Beyonce has one of the best videos of all time. One of the best videos of all time!

That.

That was the breathtaking genius.

And I don’t really care about the fact that he pulled off such a douchey baggy just-incredibly-asinine move.

Like that?

Asinine?

I love using that word.

Makes me feel smarter than I actually am.

It’s more that he used his blog to apologize.

His blog?

Since when is this okay?

Look, I’m lazy as ass.

I’m in my bed in my parents basement just finishing a TiVoed episode of Mad Men.

Amazing by the way.

I posted this blog entry while drinking Jack Daniels and Coke, in my peejay pants with the racing stripe, with Oreo cookie crumbs all over my face.

And I ate some cheese I feel like is old.

Real old.

So I posted this blog.

I typed it.  123 seconds.

I click post.  1 second.

That’s worthy of an apology?

I mean, Kanye out-douched thousands of douches across North America.  He gets away with it by just posting a blog entry?

A blog entry?

Really.

I think we need to put an end to this celebrity blog entry apology bullshit.

When I tinkle on the car of my boss at an embarrassing telemarketing job I took last year because I couldn’t afford light, do you think I apologized in my blog?

Hell no.

Here’s his blog apology.

I’m going to try the cheese again.

“I’M SOOOOO SORRY TO TAYLOR SWIFT AND HER FANS AND HER MOM. I SPOKE TO HER MOTHER RIGHT AFTER AND SHE SAID THE SAME THING MY MOTHER WOULD’VE SAID. SHE IS VERY TALENTED! I LIKE THE LYRICS ABOUT BEING A CHEERLEADER AND SHE’S IN THE BLEACHERS! …………………… I’M IN THE WRONG FOR GOING ON STAGE AND TAKING AWAY FROM HER MOMENT!…………….. BEYONCE’S VIDEO WAS THE BEST OF THIS DECADE!!!! I’M SORRY TO MY FANS IF I LET YOU GUYS DOWN!!!! I’M SORRY TO MY FRIENDS AT MTV. I WILL APOLOGIZE TO TAYLOR 2MRW. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!!!! EVERYBODY WANNA BOOOOO ME BUT I’M A FAN OF REAL POP CULTURE!!! NO DISRESPECT BUT WE WATCHIN’ THE SHOW AT THE CRIB RIGHT NOW CAUSE … WELL YOU KNOW!!!! I’M STILL HAPPY FOR TAYLOR!!!! BOOOYAAAWWWW!!!! YOU ARE VERY VERY TALENTED!!! I GAVE MY AWARDS TO OUTKAST WHEN THEY DESERVED IT OVER ME… THAT’S WHAT IT IS!!!!!!! I’M NOT CRAZY YALL, I’M JUST REAL. SORRY FOR THAT!!! I REALLY FEEL BAD FOR TAYLOR AND I’M SINCERELY SORRY!!! MUCH RESPECT!!!!!”

Yes.  Get bigger glasses.

Yes. Get bigger glasses.

See celebrity reaction on Twitter to Kanye’s outburst.

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