How 2 Murdered Little People Affect Your Lives Personally.

 

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Goodbye, tiny heroes.

You’re here and you’re already offended.

How dare you exploit little people, Tremendous News.  How dare you.  I have higher expectations for you.

Really?  Because you should lower them.

Lower them until they’re barely expectations.

Even then, I’ll disappoint you.

This breaking headline has been featured in daily publications like the Telegraph and the Scottish Daily Record.  Those fine publications used the term midget.

I deployed the term little people.

Because I’m wickedly sensitive.

Here’s what happened.  According to news sources, these tiny Mexican wrestlers were found dead in a low-rent hotel.  Allegedly, two hookers poisoned them and ran away with their tiny belongings.

Now that’s mean.

They’re just tiny!

Okay, you’ve offended little people everywhere.  Good job.  How does this affect my life personally, as your headline suggests?

It affects you.  It affects you in a real way.

As the economy continues to slip.  As media changes.  As our world is revolutionized by new technology, these tiny warriors did the only thing they knew how to do.

Wrestle other tiny people.

They took something they did well, poured their pint-sized emotions into it, and shared their gift with the world.

While the economic stimulus bill shaped the new economy.

They headlocked.

While we fought for freedom in foreign lands.

They suplexed.

I want you to take a moment to really think about what you’re doing.  Really think about what you do each day.  Do you have that passion?  The passion of these tiny warriors?

I know I do.  I get to wake up each day, feed my alarmingly obese body.  Communicate with thousands of people through this blog.  Then emotionally unravel when they shower me with hate comments.

It’s what I was born to do.

Now, go out there and do what you really love. Do it while you still have time.

Because you never know how long it’ll be before a couple hookers kill you.