Just To Clarify: I’m Male.

Im like a super huge fan of this.

I'm like a super huge fan of this.

It appears some of you think I’m female.

I’m not sure why.

My posts have distinct manly undertones.  I cleverly craft items heavy in testosterone.  I limit my “totally”s to just a few.  But still.

You think I own ovaries.

A fantastical Internet radio show mentioned my site recently.  I listened.  Creepily, I listened.  I heard the part where the young broadcaster described me as “he or she”.

That’s where I shattered.

I even wrote a post about my girlfriend. Even though she was imaginary, it still strongly signals that I’m a male.  You know what happened after I posted that?

Someone emailed me thanking me for being a proud lesbian.

Here’s an electronic mailing from a reader.  Try to figure it out because I have no idea what the fuck it means.

from —-
to “admin@tremendousnews.com” <admin@tremendousnews.com>
date Mon, May 18, 2009 at 6:17 PM
subject Miss you…
signed-by gmail.com

Follow up message
You haven’t posted anything in four days.  You‘re slacking…which means I can’t.  Makes me die a little inside…

Salon:  a 17th century French idea, a gathering of stimulating and attractive people of quality under the roof of an inspiring hostess, partly to amuse one another and partly to refine their taste and increase their knowledge through conversation and readings.

Really?  Because I’d be scared if I wasn’t just as creepy.  What’s startling is that this individual is male.

A male misses me.

From now on, I am going to crowbar in male references at inappropriate moments.  I’ll post “10 Dating Tips For Females, Written By My Penis.”

I will discuss politics, from the viewpoint of my vas deferens.

I will comment on life issues, and how I love hot chicks and their super wicked uteruses.

I’m male, damn it.

Male.


  • Toni

    Lies! Lies, I say! I demand proof.

  • dg

    I always thought you were gay (like a man gay not lesbian). Bit disappointed but nevertheless still interesting. Keep going…

  • Andrew

    I know the person who sent that email. I’d know that signature anywhere. Dude, its a girl. Seems you too have trouble detecting gender through the internets.

  • I thought that pic was OF you. You’re hot!! 😀

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  • Miss Mason

    He’s very much male, he even has douchey facial hair 🙂

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  • Celia

    Hahaha … I wasn’t the only one confused then. Your blog and tweets are masculine but when I conversed with you in an email I picked up a feminine vibe. :p I’ve also noticed that your blogs sound like you’re American but if I’m not mistaken you’re Canadian … correct?

  • Stephanie

    So you’re a woman, right? I knew it.

  • Paula

    Tee hee .. “douchey facial hair”, please note that this does not confirm maleness, on the contrary, many women have this and keep beauty salons in business. I am not one of them I hasten to add.

    I demand a pic !!!

  • the first post I read of yours was “The Twitter Avatar Roast: 10 Types of Profile Images.” I am one of those people who has to have a narrators voice in her head when I read things and you came into my head sounding just like Alec Baldwin. Very low and gravelly…and manly. Thanks for making me giggle.
    Oh and by the way I guess I count as #5 from your Avatar roast- the close up girl you love to hate.
    -Jenni

  • You try to act male, but it’s to make up for your gayness, which you are for some reason ashamed of. Just step up and out of that closet, dude. We all know the truth. No point in trying to hide it. We’re not gonna call you “fag” or anything. Society is past that.

    Unless you live in Arkansas. Then, well, stay in that closet and keep the door tightly shut.

    And no, I can’t squeal like a pig, you freak.

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  • Sharkey

    So you’re like a super huge fan of transvestites who dress up in kitsch firefighter-girl outfits?

    Dude, that may make you male, but it’s not something you should flaunt.

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  • Susan S. m

    Yes, yes we know u r a manly man. Oozing testosterone. Sort of a lumberjack-type, and not a Pythonesque lumberjack either. Or r u?…

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