Pink Animals Battle for Our Attention.

As Kim Jong il began his assault on world peace, tell me this dolphin isnt more important right now.  Its pink!  Thats so wild.

As Kim Jong il began his assault on world peace, tell me this dolphin isnt more important right now. Its pink! Thats so wild.

Weeks ago, a pink bottlenosed dolphin was found in a Louisiana lake.

The news rippled through the media.  Newspapers featured images of the dolphin on their front pages.  A short video clip of the dolphin went viral on the Internet.

Meanwhile, the steadily dissolving economy was featured on page 29.  Trouble in the Gaza was in section C next to the Macy’s advertisement.  The war in Afghanistan?  Maybe next week.

Now, the pink dolphin.

I won’t lie.  I was arrested by the image.  The dolphin was pink!  Like, pepto-bismol pink.  Like, Jem and The Holograms pink.   Like, well.  If I dip deeper into my treasure chest of analogies it can only get much more unpleasant.

And we’re too classy for that here at Tremendous News!

Just really-really pink.

Scientists said it was the first time they have ever seen a pink dolphin.  They wanted to observe it more.  Tourists flocked to see it.  Our pink dolphin was quite the celebrity.

Until a few days ago, when they discovered the pink elephant.

A pink elephant in Botswana, just parading around like it was normal to be pink.  Personally, I find the pink of the elephant to be more reddish-brown.  But still, it’s kind of bad-ass looking.  You know this pisses off the pink dolphin lovers in Louisiana.  For once, the tiny area of Louisiana has something interesting happening, with a pink dolphin they can claim as their own little loch ness, and then a week later, some shithead elephant in Botswana gives birth to a pink baby elephant.

I think this a win for humanity.  As now, I can marvel at both pink animals.  I hope more and more pink animals surface.  Pink seagulls.  Pink Dobermans.  Pink…manatees?  Can that even happen?  The sea cow?  In pink?!

Wait here.  I must investigate.

Never to be one-upped the elephants of Botswana fight back with their own little freak of nature.

Never to be one-upped, the elephants of Botswana fight back with their own little freak of nature.

  • Jason

    It seems that the Pink Panther has been busy in his old age.

  • Tourists flocked to see it.  Our pink dolphin was quite the celebrity.

  • Tourists flocked to see it.  Our pink dolphin was quite the celebrity.

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