What’s a Bromance?

Usually, it looks nothing like this.

Usually, it looks nothing like this.

Here at Tremendous News, our high-octane writing team usually focuses on nerdy news.  We take an article of interest in business and then explain it to you like you’re dumb.  And retarded.

Retardedly dumb.

We’ve explained the Ponzi scheme, certificates of deposit, and carbon footprints.

But this bromance thing?  It deserves an explanation.

A ‘bromance’ is a social phenomenon where two completely heterosexual men develop a friendship.  They could go to the sports bar or Home Depot together.  They could attend a variety of sporting events like football or rugby.  Hunt.  Tie sailing knots.  Wrestle elk.

You know, man things.

But behind it all, a bromance is when guys put themselves out on the line. They’re usually new friendships, so if one guy decides not to participate in the hanging out, the other may feel like he got rejected.

If, for example, my bromance and I decided to go out on a Saturday afternoon to do a little logging.  I’d call him up before we went out to ask him which type of saw I should use.  The three-quarter blade or the seven-fifty.  And he would say something like, “oh dude!  Totally forgot.  I can’t go out with you to cut down trees illegally anymore.  Cindy’s parents are in town from Omaha.  We have to go to take them to Bennigans for dinner.  Sorry.”

I’ll pretend it didn’t matter with “no worries man, another time then.”  Then I would put my saw blades away.  I won’t even care whether I needed the three-quarter blade or the seven-fifty.  Really?  I had no idea what any of that meant.  Instead, I’d retreat to my man-cave downstairs, screen television progamming and unravel emotionally.

Because I just got rejected.

Guys are not socialized to be expressive.  We’re not emotionally in tune with anything.  In fact, we only come with like, three emotions.  Angry, Happy, Drunk.  Maybe Sick.  Is that an emotion?  Or am I just naming dwarves from Snow White.  Who would even know.

Very little emotion.

Which is why a bromance is such a strong play for us.  We’re going out of our way to be friends with someone.  We don’t want to be rejected. We’re nervous.  We’re trying to impress.  We’re doing all the things we usually do around women we want to score with.  Except for the scoring part.

If you spot a bromance, or if you’re currently in one, you can relate.  You know it’s over-analyzed in the media.  You know people just don’t understand.

The only thing you don’t know is whether to use the three quarter blade or the seven-fifty.

  • Jay

    Any discussion about a bromance would not be complete without discussing the “broner”. You know, the unintentional male induced erection. Lets go to the urban dictionary for a proper description:

    A slang term used to explain the phenomenon during which a fiercely heterosexual male achieves an erection (or, “boner”) for or while in the company of one of his male friends (or, “bros”). This may only occur while engaging in all-male activities, particularly those which include feats of strength or displays of hyper-masculinity. Upon achieving a broner, the man in question is often known to exclaim, “dude, suck that shit!” or “meet me in the shower.”

    In a sentence:
    “The way you creamed that linebacker gave me a total broner.”