Ryanair Literally Takes The Piss.

Because this helps.

Because this helps.

Ryanair, Europe’s largest budget airline, may start charging people to use the in-flight bathroom, CEO Michael O’Leary said Friday.  This has fueled outrage across the Internet as nerds from Iowa who have never flown anywhere before are upset at the thought of having to pay for “something you should get for free.”

Really?  Settle down.

“One thing we have looked at in the past and are looking at again is the possibility of maybe putting a coin slot on the toilet door so that people might actually have to spend a pound to spend a penny in future,” he told BBC television.

Oh, in case you don’t speak Englandese, spend a penny means to tinkle in a public restroom.  Don’t worry, I was horribly confused for several hours until I realized what it meant too.

First, I see nothing wrong with this.  The rare time I go to discos, and have to tinkle, there’s always this man in the bathroom that gives you a paper towel to dry your hands.  He even turns the tap on for you.  These tandem efforts are apparently supposed to compel you to give him a dollar or two, but sometimes I see ten or twenty dollars in his little money pot.

Hi.  Who’s giving him that much?  For a paper towel?  I bet he plants them.  He does, doesn’t he?

I’m onto you, towel boy.

Regardless, he usually stares at me with his cold, dead eyes until I fetch a dollar or two from my pocket.  This is me paying to use the bathroom.  I’m sure it’s happened to you too.  So if I have to do it on a plane, what’s the big deal?  And if you’re so concerned, just hold it until you land in Belfast or Dublin or wherever Ryanair flies.

And Ryanair doesn’t fly to Des Moines, Iowa nerds.  Just relax.

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