The Hilarious Death of Print Media.

They have to refinance the letter-signs.  In May, theyll be done paying for the vowels.

They have to refinance the letter-signs. In May, theyll be done paying for the vowels.

The slow decline in newspaper and magazine readership has been depicted as a sad death march, a solemn change, an erosion of societal values.  We’re too lazy to read the newspaper. Nobody wants to hold and feel a magazine anymore.  Everybody would rather sacrifice that experience to get news quickly and online.

Hell. Yes.

Why not?  Newspapers and magazines are a waste of our time.  I’m going to go to the store and buy one?  Then when I’m done, I have to throw it out somewhere.  Hippies get maddened when I throw it in the trash so I have to find a recycling bin somewhere.  A recycling bin?  Really?

I’ll just go online.

The San Francisco Chronicle admitted today that they might have to fold if they can’t find a buyer.  There’s 11 different newspapers in the San Francisco area, so the battle was fierce for readership.  The money-losing paper just couldn’t take it anymore.

So sad.

The Philadelphia Inquirer filed for bankruptcy yesterday citing ‘debt obligations.’  The New York Times won’t pay their dividend for the first time ever and the Wall Street Journal has stated that the paper is losing subscribers.

Is your heart breaking?

Not mine.

Newspapers and magazines have to move forward with the times.  They need to worry about content more than medium, and then decide on a format to charge a price for that content.  Look at this blog.  Dozens of you are reading this content for free.  Okay by dozens I mean six.  And five of you clicked on some link and probably don’t know why you’re still here.  But with this type of writing, why would you ever pay for a newspaper?

Lie to me.  Lie to me and nod your head no in agreement.  Why would you pay for a newspaper or a magazine with scintillating content like this?  You wouldn’t.

I have three newspaper subscriptions.  I read three nerdy papers each day plus a variety of online media.  Would I care if any of the three papers go bankrupt and all I had was tremendousnews.com to feed me information every day?

Okay, I probably would.

The point is newspapers need to find a business model that works.  Otherwise one day, tremendousnews.com will be the parent owner of the San Francisco Chronicle.  And really?

Who needs that.