Swiss Government Maddened By American Treatment of UBS

The Swiss are pissed.  Who would have thought that would actually happen.  Usually, the Swiss are known for being nice, neutral.  If you talked trash about their moms they would say, “I see your point and it’s valid.  Let’s all be merry and eat peppermint scones, shall we?”  And then they would prance away into a magical forest.

Not anymore.

Members of the SVP, the largest political party in Switzerland, are pissed at how the US is treating their darling bank, UBS.  They don’t like the fact that American federal authorities are pressuring UBS to release names of their customers.

So, in retaliation, they propose that Switzerland:

• Not take any prisoners from the soon-to-be-shut Guantanamo Bay Prison
• Not help the US in diplomatic situations where the country is uninvited
• Ban the sales of US funds through Swiss banks
• Not give the Americans any of their delicious chocolate or watches or those stupid knives that nobody really needs unless you’re a woodsman.  Are you a woodsman?  No.  No, you’re not.  So why do you need a knife that expands into seventy-eight other knives?

I believe the Swiss government is just hand-waving so their people think they’re doing something.  I think besides this blog and maybe some newspaper in Zurich, nobody really cares.

Oh, except you.  You just read this entire post.  Which means you care deeply.  Don’t worry, I just made up the part about the chocolate.  You can still buy some.

Fatty.