Sirius Satellite Rescued: Nerdy Radio Listeners Rejoice.

Sirius XM, the satellite radio company, was about to file for bankruptcy protection this morning.  They needed to come up with a little cash to pay off some loans.  And by ‘little cash’ I mean the gross domestic product of Ireland.  

So it’s safe to say they were a little worried.

Mel Karmazin, CEO of Sirius XM held a lot of debt.  One of his ex-buddies, who apparently hates him, started buying the debt up so that eventually he could be the largest holder of all of Sirius’ debt.  It’s like when you owe money on your Visa and Mastercard and that shitty Sears card that you didn’t know you signed up for, but now you owe like 6000 dollars on it because you decided to buy a washing machine on it once.

Then one day Visa assumes your Mastercard and Sears debt and then totally owns your ass.

Exactly like that.

However, in a breaking turn of events, Sirius XM was rescued by Liberty Media this morning when they offered a $250M loan.  It was enough to just barely avoid bankruptcy.

Liberty owns Dish Network, so this would probably be a sign that the satellites above us will converge together to not only deliver insightful radio, but also hardcore pornography.  Combo!

Excellent news for Sirius.  The stock is up 66% today to a whopping, 17 cents.

Go crazy and buy 100 shares.  You deserve it.