Old Article Sends United Airlines Stocks Plummeting.

Imagine, for a moment, you work for the South Florida Sun-Sentinel. Your job is to upload old articles into the Archive section of your website. Apparently, you forget to archive one of them in the Archive section, it leaks onto your main site, and 4.6 seconds later it’s picked up by the Bloomberg news service. That would be okay, unless the article was about a major airline going bankrupt.

I know. Time for you to do Jager bombs.

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Everyone who read the article online thought that United Airlines filed for bankruptcy protection again on Monday, even though the article was written in 2002, when the airline actually did file. This freaked out investors, who all went into cardiac arrest, and the stock went from over 12 dollars to about $3 in a matter of hours. Billions of dollars of market capitalization was instantly lost. All because of an erroneous article. United Airlines spokespeople contend that the article was posted on purpose, so people could screw with their business. They hired nerds from Switzerland to launch huge protons directly into the Florida archive-guys’ asshole.